(Closed) Marriage in trouble due to competition (career-wise) and his female friend

posted 3 months ago in Married Life
Post # 751
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

saturnian :  She said he told her that he definitely wanted kids.

sboom :  I agree that he was probably always who is right now and maybe OP didn’t get to know that until later because she met him at a particular stage in his life when he was also building his career… but planned to eventually slow down and enjoy other things.

Post # 752
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

chiara :  Oh ok. I didn’t know that she said he wouldn’t have married her if she didn’t want kids. 

Post # 754
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

alezv87 :  Did he or you bring up kids more recently, such as in therapy or you haven’t spoken about it in ages?

Post # 755
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

How is the holiday planning going? Is your husband showing interest in planning any activities while you are there? Is he showing excitement?

I really hope for your sake that he is enthusiastic because I’m not sure if he was keen on going.

Post # 756
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

That’s quite concerning that he does not kiss you or hug you, bee. That too for months? He reciprocates but is it not worrying enough to wonder if he might be physically involved elsewhere? Hoping it’s a loss of libido or something less worrying.

alezv87 :  

Post # 757
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

elfbee :  Why is it worrying? Because he’s a man who’s not up for sex? I don’t think this would be flagged as a concern if it was a woman not wanting physical intimacy.

Post # 758
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

kayaa :  If your spouse has completely lost interest in sex, then it’s always worth determining why if it’s for a prolonged period. And here it’s no kisses and hugs too.

Post # 759
Member
5583 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

We know why, because he feels beaten down emotionally by OP and a month ago was on the verge of divorce.  No one would jump as quickly on a wife for not getting straight back into bed with a husband who made her feel so bad about herself that she was about to divorce him.   elfbee :  

Post # 760
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

zzar45 :  I understand that but it’s not only sex. She said he doesn’t show any physical affection other than reciprocating kisses and hugs.

Post # 761
Member
5583 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Would you want to show intimate physical affection with someone you don’t really like and want to divorce?  They are only just starting to work on the relationship and trip to build it back up, I still don’t think a woman would be roasted for not showing enough physical affection only a month after she tried to divorce him. 

A month ago he didn’t want to respond or kiss OP at all, now he has softened and will respond when she initiates. It seems like it will just take time for him to open up and get to that stage with OP again, luckily it seems like she understands that. 

elfbee :  

Post # 762
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

elfbee :  He doesn’t have to be getting physical intimacy and affection from someone else. Sometimes you just lose interest due to a prolonged period of stress and unhappiness. 

Post # 763
Member
12133 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I think the lack of interest in initiating any kind of affection is consistent with someone who is not ready yet, but also with someone who is not all in. Either way, I don’t find it very surprising. 

Post # 764
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

weddingmaven :  But then why would he be going to therapy and on vacation with her? I can’t imagine going away for a week with someone I don’t want to be around.

Post # 765
Member
4873 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

lavender9 :  not the same thing. He’s obviously not ready for initiating any affection yet. does not mean he he doesn’t want to be around OP.

The topic ‘Marriage in trouble due to competition (career-wise) and his female friend’ is closed to new replies.

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