Post # 1
is the title of this blog post I just read. My friend posted this on fb and I thought it would be good to share with the hive. I think it’s a great read for those who are already married, engaged or waiting!
Here’s a taste:
“In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times.”
Marriage Is For Losers
Post # 3
@MrsElopement: that’s a really interesting article. i have struggled with the concept of what it means to be married – what/who my partner and i need to be in order to be ready to take the step. i often think i am ready – i sure am old enough, i’ve lived a full, multi-faceted life and relish in continuing to grow – yet i know marriage is something so much more than two individuals walking side by side in their paths.
the article beautifully defines marriage on a much deeper level – going through my relationship consciously with reflection and mindfullness – i realize there are so many things we do not realize need to change in order to truly make something work for the long haul. in being a loser, in the end you will win.
a thought provoking piece that i will definitely share with friends. thanks for posting! 🙂
Post # 4
@tenacity: I absolutely agree with you!! I loved this:
“But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves.”
I will certainly admit my Fiance and I do struggle with “winning” from time to time so I am going to work on just letting go because most of the time it’s really not that important.
Post # 5
Darling Husband and I have the 3rd kind of marriage, thankfully. We work really hard at it too – we have serious talks at least once/week so we’ll be sure to stay on the same page.
I shared the article on my facebook status. It’s very well written and I think it’s something a lot of people would benefit from reading.
Post # 6
@misskoala: I like your weekly meeting idea. It is so easy to assume you’re on the same page only to realize later that you were way off!
Post # 7
This was really interesting – I like the writer’s take on the types of marriages and what losing really means when it comes to loving someone else.
Post # 9
Thank you for posting this, it was very interesting and helped open my eyes. My SO and I have the third type of relationship. We hear eachother, we listen, and when necessary we sacrifice and change to make the other happy. It’s the only way to work.
But I didn’t realize I am part of the second category. Not by intention and not by emotions but by learned behavior I am guessing. I was once, long ago, in a very type two relationship. For quite some time I was with an abusive man in every aspect from physical to emotional. I’ve healed but never realized that it could have effected me but…
When SO and I do rarely fight, he always says I have to be the one who is right. I have to be the one who wins. I never looked at it that way but when it does come down to it, I will do anything I can and everything I can to prove there is a reason for me to be hurt, even if it’s a problem that didn’t exist when the argument started.
So I guess it’s good we only fight once every 6 months or so, it gives me time to work on this now that I know what I am… I’ve got to let him be right. Let him feel like the winner.
Thank you again, I think this article just might make things even better in a relationship that I didn’t think could get better (other than a ring being added to it 🙂 )
Post # 10
@pinkgreenandyellow: I can absolutely relate!!!
Post # 11
This was great to read! Thanks for sharing! I have to say that SO and I were more situation 1 when we first starting dating…thank goodness for growing up, and growing into our relationship. I’m proud to say it’s more type 3 than anything else. Love makes us grow as human beings in ways that continually amaze me. 🙂
Post # 12
So glad this was shared!
Darling Husband and I definitely have a type 3 marriage and BOY am I thankful for that!
Sharing on my fb now =)