(Closed) Marriage Isn't A Joke!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hmmm….I really don’t see this on WB a whole lot, but maybe I’m lucky.

Post # 6
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I haven’t noticed this… Sometimes people joke about the process, but that’s just a way to deal with the stress and, at least for me, point out the insignificance of whether the linens are the righ shade of purple.

In a way, that’s how I remind myself what the wedding is all about!

BUT, I tend not to read certain topics here, so I may be missing it!

ETA: Just read about the gifts, etc. Yes, I have seen those threads. The majority of people here, luckily don’t agree with that stuff!

Post # 8
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t really see this as much on the bee or on my own personal FB but I’ve seen it in the news, or heard it from other friends, or stupid things like that. I think I’ve sort of weeded out the friends in my life who would get married for any reason other than wanting to spend their life with that person (Well, mostly). 

Post # 9
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Marriage isn’t a joke? What? DAMMIT! I was duped!

Post # 10
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Kee_Jay22:  I agree with you, but at the same time would like to point out. Wedding’s cost thousands of dollars, most gifts cast $50-$200 range and not all guests give gifts, the odds of ever getting enough gifts to even make it worth it to get married just for the gifts is extremely low. Same goes for showing off, weddings are way to expensive for this to be a serious problem. 

So while some couples may mention gifts or seem like they are showing off, chances are that isn’t the reason they are getting married.

ETA:  Anyone that does so has very flawed logic. No way am I going to spend $10,000 or more or a wedding to get maybe $5000 in gifts, it’s just not going to justify the costs of a wedding if I’m just after gifts.

I think many people will complain about guests not bringing gifts, or question how to let guests know about their preferred cash gifts, simply because just as it’s poor taste and manners to expect gifts, it’s quite poor manners and taste to attend a wedding emptyhanded. Just as you wouldn’t attend a dinner party without a gift for the hostess, or a birthday party without a birthday gift, a baby shower with out a baby gift, etc. You don’t attend a wedding without at least a card.


Post # 12
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I got married because I wanted to be with someone forever. I had a wedding for all the extras. Just because someone isn’t the greatest at etiquette or they are for lack of better words, a greedy bitch, doesn’t mean they aren’t taking marriage seriously.

Post # 13
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Marriage means different things to different people.  While I agree getting married for the gifts isn’t a smart or classy choice, I also don’t think anyone has the right to judge someone else’s situation.  

I have had friends who made choices I didn’t agree with in the wedding planning process, some of them did things that I thought were tacky or rude, but it’s their lives and their choices.  If it bothers you that much what someone else isdoing, I think the best choice is to just not be a part of it.  

Post # 14
1522 posts
Bumble bee

marriage definitely isnt a joke but most people know that, on wb we definitely are having fun because a wedding is pretty much the dream of many women, a chance to be cinderella for a day. i luv planning and imagining the BIG day but me and my SO have been through our share of trouble that we hav been hit with and we completely understand what it takes and we are working on it everyday

Post # 16
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have been noticing this for a LONG time, well before I came to WB. It seems to be that there are a fair number of women who are dying for proposals simply because they want a grand wedding or like marriage is the “in” thing to do. Often there are all kinds of red flags everywhere – they can’t stand their future in-laws, their SO/FI treats them like shit, there is disagreement on children, unwillingness to contribute to the household, etc. Yet they plunge into it and cry the blues when they figure out that after the wedding they are married and there is this way of life that makes them exceedingly unhappy. I am certain the vast majority of bees are truly in love and absolutely want a happy marriage. But again, I have been noticing the “trend” to get engaged/married without contemplating the reality of the marriage.

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