(Closed) marriage jitters: normal?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think everyone, no matter how many relationships they have been in, will have questions of their own of some sort.  Some people can go thru tons of relationships and still wonder could he/she have missed the ONE.  It sounds as if you are marrying a great guy and it’s true, you’re lucky to have found him with less drama.  I hate to say it but I know some peeps who have to go through many heartaches before find the one to complete them whole.  You are entering a marriage without ever having to go through such pain.  That’s another blessing given to you!

 In terms of wondering what it is like to be with others, physical is just physical.  But with your man, love is what makes your intimacy that much more special and great.  Remember, the line from Friends when Rachel was talking to Ross about Palo?  Intimacy makes the bedroom great.  That’s not something you’ll find with just anybody. 

Post # 4
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

I come from a circle of Christian friends who all believed in ‘waiting’.  So most of us have only ‘slept’ with our husbands.  (also waiting until marriage which is moslty a lost art I think)  We’re all very open with talking about the sex subject though – and we often discuss our decision to wait – especially with those who aren’t married yet.  Are we glad we waited,  do we regret not having other partners etc etc.  I think it’s very common for those who have only been intimate with one person to be curious and have the thoughts your having.  It just means your normal!

I agree with sunnybride – it’s a blessing to have found the one on the first try and to have missed out on all the drama/heartache relationships cause.   I never dated much – I had a couple of 2-3 months relationships and one that last 8 months before I met the hubby – and I was 27 when I met him!  Of course sometimes I’d be bummed about being single – but then again I don’t have a lot of relationship baggage following me around!  🙂

Post # 5
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Men suck! Be happy you didn’t have the schlep through a dozen to find this one! LOL.

Seriously I think that I would feel the same as you, but looking back I’d skip all those losers, the heart break of being dumped, being cheated on, the agonizing pain of longing for someone who doens’t know you exsist only to find out their a brain dead dweeb anyway! Ug, bad dates, blind dates, being stood up – all things I would gladly hand over, nicely wrapped in a brown paper package to have just met Alex 2nd (I say second because my relationship before him resulted in my daughter…lol – and though that bone head is a thorn in my side EVERYDAY, I wouldn’t trade that crappy time for anything because of her)  

Anyone would feel like you do. It’s natural. But be happy you don’t have to look back in regreat for that one night stand or any other of a million things that couldhave happened if you didn’t meet him for another 10 years…..

You’re one of the amazing few couples out there who did it right the first time.

 

Post # 6
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i’m marrying the first and only guy i’ve ever dated/kissed. we’re waiting till marriage to sleep together, but yes, that will be the first of that too. he had a 3-4 month relationship before me.

half of our friends say i’m lucky to have found someone on the first try, and the other half think i’m nuts for not "playing the field." i discussed it with one of my best friends, who is in the first group, and has had a lot of relationships, and she said that there are lessons to be learned from relationships/break ups, but that i don’t need to be in a dating relationship to learn them.. i’ve had a lot of family drama and heartbreak, and i’ve learned enough about living with people through those times that i don’t need to learn that in my dating life. 

i’d say, consider yourself lucky. i sure do. 🙂 it’s natural to freak out a little, but when you really think about it, do you want to give up the great thing you have for the possibility of the unknown?

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