Post # 1
So we went and and applied for our marriage license today. We have argued over whether I am changing my name for the past 2 years and when it came time to fill in the line for Surname after wedding I put my own maiden name and he is really disappointed. And now I feel really guilty, and I thnk maybe I should have just put his name, and I could just not actually change of my legal documents… but can you do that? Isn’t your new name yourname once you’re married?
I keep saying to him I can alwasy change it later, but my marriage license won’t be w/his last name, so would that make it difficult to change it later? I feel like I made a mistake, but I have been so adament about keeping my name.
Post # 3
You know, I think it’s ok for you to say that you don’t want to change your name. It’s not a sign that you love him any less or that you don’t want to enter into a lifelong partnership with him. It just means that you want to hold onto your own identity aside from and in addition to being his wife. I think perhaps the two of you need to have a talk where you explain your reluctance to go along with him and convince him that it isn’t a form of rejection or a way of hedging on your commitment. Love and ownership are not the same thing. 🙂
Post # 4
Changing your name is a major pain! If you have doubts, I’d say to keep your name now. If you want to change it later, you can do so, and that’s a lot easier than having to change it back once you have already changed it.
You have no reason to feel guilty. If you don’t get to tell him what his name should be, there is no reason he should get to tell you what yours should be.
Post # 5
My bf and I have talked a lot about this as well and I’m in a similar boat. I love my name and it’s unique and it’s ME. His last name is very common and while I don’t have a problem with it, it just doesn’t feel right. I’m the only person I know with my name and with my writing career, I’d like to keep it consistent. I was thinking about the ole double last name on the marriage license but he does not like the idea at all.
Do any of you have a the double last name?
I don’t get why he won’t compromise :-
Post # 6
I don’t know about your state, but in mine, you put your current name on the marriage license, and then change your name with social security once you have the marriage certificate. I’m in the process of changing my name now, and I took my maiden name as my second middle name. My maiden name will also be written out on the checks from my individual bank account, so it’s not like my name is going away.