- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I’d love to hear the beehive chat a bit about marriage preparation.
I’m doing the Catholic pre-cana marriage prep with my Fiance…in fact, we’re required to in order to marry in the Church (I’m Catholic, Fiance is not.)
I’m excited about it because I’ve gotten to a point in our wedding planning where I feel like I’m losing sight of what really matters about our wedding. Between bridesmaid dresses, family drama, tent decor, travel arrangements, rehearsal dinners, escort cards, caterer contracts (etc etc etc) I think about our wedding nearly 24/7. Going to my church’s intake session was just another thing to check off on my to-do list until we got about half-way through the interview form they had to go through with me. The woman asked me a couple of really obvious, simple questions that really struck me, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. She asked me if I plan to promise to be with Fiance until death, if I would be faithful to him and only him for the rest of my life, and if we planned to welcome children into our family.
I’ve already said “yes” to his proposal, and I know I will be making these promises when we get married. In general, I know those are things I’m entering into by marrying my fiance. But as I plan my wedding, nobody is talking to me about what “forever” and “faithfulness” and “family” really mean. But really, those are the lasting things that matter, and that will be with me long after my bridal bouquet wilts and my bridesmaid dresses go out of style.
I don’t mean to say those other things aren’t important. But it was nice to be asked about some of the deeper things, and I’m excited to get further into our marriage prep so that Fiance and I can start to appreciate even more what it is we are about to enter into. With our busy jobs, applying to grad school, and planning a wedding, I know that we wouldn’t take the time out of our days to discuss that stuff on our own, so I’m really grateful to my church for giving us a structured way to focus on it. Some of it will feel less helpful than others (we already live together, won’t be practicing natural family planning, and don’t fully agree with everything the church teaches on those topics), but I know we’ll get something out of it (in fact, I already have!)
How do the rest of you feel about marriage preparation classes/counseling? Have you found it helpful? A waste of time? If you aren’t marrying in a church or don’t prescribe to a faith, was there another way you and your SO got prepared to tackle the bigger questions about getting married?