(Closed) Marriage problems

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

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sunnydawn :  I’ve never had this response before but here it is: what the fuck did I just read? You can’t be serious!! 

Get out. Now. You deserve better. Better is out there. 

Dont use the excuse of years wasted to stay. Please, for yourself. Don’t make excuses. Divorce him now.

You aren’t alone. And you never will be. You can and you WILL get through this. 

Get in touch with us any of us here if you want support or help through it. Take care of yourself. 

Post # 32
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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sunnydawn :  you feel bad to leave him after his car accident a year ago but since then he’s been back online? Cmon girl. You know what to do.

This reminds me of an episode of Dr.Phil where a man was picking up prostitutes on his honeymoon! And the wife wanted to stay with him after that!! Even Dr.Phil told her WHATTHEHELLAREYOUTHINKIINNGGG.

There was no help for them and there’s no help for your marriage. Sorry. He’s not going to change. But you have to WANT a better life and until you reach that point you’ll be stuck in this. 

Post # 33
Member
4498 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You….feel guilty asking your husband not to date?

Post # 34
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee

Oh. Hell. No. 

Sign up for all the same ones. Tell him it’s “for friends” 

Post # 35
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2022 - Maui

the longer you stay in this crap the more damage heʻs gonna cause you. save yourself, Bee, stop damaging yourself more by staying.

Post # 36
Member
859 posts
Busy bee

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sunnydawn :  Is…this real?

He’s been doing this your entire relationship, so this has nothing to do with a brain injury suddenly changing who he is.

I have a broken spine and herniations as we speak, which I am actively healing from at the exact time I am writing this post.  When I got bored, I went on WeddingBee for entertainment and “friends.” NOT a dating site.  So that also isn’t valid.

And, as an actively injured person (not one who has healed for a year), I wouldn’t blame my husband or think he should feel guilty at ALL if I were engaging in behavior like your husband even if he left me alone and abandoned at this second.  Why is his injury your problem to feel guilty about when he can’t treat you like a wife?

I don’t know why you put up with this for 6 years before his accident, but injury is irrelevant. Everything is irrelevent except the fact that he has disrespected you and treated you badly since day one.

You are 7 years past the date you should have walked away.

Post # 37
Member
7350 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I can’t imagine what’s going on inside of you that you would feel guilty about dumping your husband who is a cheater and persistently violating the agreements of your relationship. Also- yes, maybe he was in a car accident a year ago where he should have been killed. Many people take those kinds of experiences as an opportunity to reassess their lives and be grateful for what they have and to do better. Your husband continues to use dating sites- knowing you know about them and do not like it.

He’s a piece of shit. Flush him.

And if you aren’t yet at the point of dumping him, at the very least, start going to therapy so you can work through your own stuff and hopefully come to the realization that you deserve better.

Post # 38
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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sunnydawn :  guilt….what kinda guilt? Were you driving? Were you at fault?

 

REGARDLESS…dafuq did I just read? Bee…you leave. The end. 

Only then will you get another chance at happiness.

Post # 39
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Any updates? OP hasn’t responded since her initial post. This leads me to believe that she is still in this situation. Please, please take the advise that the Bees gave here. They were honest even if it was something that you didn’t want to hear. I wish you the best…

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