Post # 1
Hi All, I hope everyone is good. I was wondering if you can help give me some advice as I seem to be in a situation that maybe not alot of people get in. I have been with my partner for 4 years and during this time I have always thought he was the one, until we hit a bit of a rough patch and he proposed ( not to keep me) this was just after the rough patch and I guess I was re-evuating everyhting. This rough patch was i guess, long story, sometimes I find his mother interving and also we live close to his family, and 2 hours from mine, which i find difficult. I really started to question everything. Anyway I didnt accept the marriage proposal as in my head I had alot of doubts, but through this we stayed together as we both love each other and as with everything in life I wanted to work through it, as that what marriage is also. Now we are starting to think about getting engaged and I have niggly doubts but I want to give it a go, I love him and I cant imagine us not being together. I do however worry am I the only one who has been in this position? does everyone have doubts like this or is this something I need to look deeper into? Thanks
Post # 2
A deeper look couldn’t hurt! You say you have doubts – I think your first step is to figure out exactly what those doubts are and evaluate them. Are they reasonable doubts or just panic at uncertainty in what the future might hold? Are they things that you can work on, either as a couple or individually, or are they permanent concerns? Are these doubts based in personal experience, or just vague fears? From there, you can hopefully move forward, whichever way you and your partner decide to go. Good luck!
Post # 3
I agree. It’s better to take an extremely deeper look before the proposal so you’re confident in your answer.
When we first started talking about it, it took me off guard. And I had all these “what-if”s but I definitely thought really hard about it and asked me parents/grandparents how did they know they were with who they wanted to marry. My grandma essentially said “I loved him and didn’t see any reason not to marry him” Which I thought sounded weird at first but it helped. I do love him, I’m attracted to him, he makes me happy and I see no reason not to marry him.
I still think “what if this happens” or that or whatever but to me the benefits of marrying him greatly outweigh the slight possibility of this or that happening. Of course, other factors have to be considered but definitely take time to just sit and really think about it. Good luck!
Post # 4
Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. You are both right and I will definetly think about everything clearly. Alot of the time I do worry about ‘what ifs’ but I guess no one can predict what may or may not happen and as long as I am fully happy and committed and want it, then I should move forward. Thanks so much for your help