(Closed) Married 8 months & still undecided about name change!

posted 5 years ago in Names
Post # 3
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@namechangefreakout:  could you maybe change your name and keep your old name professionally?

Post # 4
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@wwbga:  This.  I changed my name but use a hyphenated name professionally.  On paper, I’ve moved my maiden to middle and have DHs as my last name.

Post # 5
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012


1. I hyphenated for a few weeks, then decided it was too long of a name (16 letters long!) and long term would be frustrating to deal with.

2. It was a hard decision only because I really wanted to keep my maiden name as a middle name, but where I am from that is a legal name change which I am not willing to do.

3. I changed my name about 3 months after the wedding

I am used to my new name now and I love feeling like a complete family with my Darling Husband. I know I will always be a “Maiden Name” girl in my heart.

Also, FWIW I never changed my name at work, except for payroll purposes, as I have been here over 5 years and can’t be bothered to get a new email, explain to external clients I deal with that my name has changed etc. When I get a new job (hopefully within the next year) I will use my new married name.

Post # 6
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I plan on just tacking FI’s name onto the end of my current name, so I’ll have four names.

FirstName, MiddleName, MaidenName, FIsName

This way I have the option of calling myself by both last names, or just having my maiden name as a second middle name.

Basically I really like how my current name sounds (first, middle, last) and don’t want to lose any of it, but still want to share a name with my future husband. This is particuarly important to me for when we have kids. My mom kept her maiden name, and growing up I always felt awkward being like “no that’s my mom, she kept her name.”

Post # 7
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I changed my name and am going as Firstname Maidenname Hislastname.  I did have a miniature identity crisis when I started doing all the paperwork but I always pictured myself changing my last name and once it was done, it was done.  I had to do it pretty quickly after the wedding because I had to get my passport updated, new drivers license, etc. for work (I travel sometimes). 

Plus someone told me I had to get my name changed within 6 months or I have to do more paperwork.  I’m still not sure if that was true, but I hustled anyway, I didn’t want to fill out more forms.

Post # 8
3215 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@namechangefreakout:  In your case, it sounds like a Yourfirst Yourmaiden HisLast compromise will work, like Hillary Rodham Clinton. You can use Hillary Rodham, Hillary Clinton, or Hillary Rodham Clinton. You can keep your name professionally, and use his socially, or use whatever combination you’d like.

Post # 9
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@namechangefreakout:  I’m having the exact same dilemma that you are, and totally thinking the exact same way for each circumstance, but the only difference is that I’m getting married next year. Good luck to you!

Post # 10
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I was really on the fence, too. Our first married fight was about it, too. :/ I was going to hyphenate, but I thought our last names sounded weird together. Even though they’re both short, people routinely butcher both of them, so two butchered names put together… well, it would have been a pain. 

I ended up changing my last name about a month after we were married (a couple weeks ago!). I miss my name, but we’re a team now, so we needed a team name. 🙂 

Post # 12
6531 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@namechangefreakout:  i changed my name. I didn’t struggle with this decision at all. i changed my name immediately after. As soon as I got my marriage certificate that stated my new name, i went down the DMV and SSC Office

If you hyphenate your name legally, just know that it might become a pain in the ass, because of paper work you would have to sign the entire name. At least this is what my girlfriend told me who hypehnated her name and now she is regretting it and is in the process of changing her name to his.

Post # 13
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m just going to have two last names, tack his on (First Middle Maiden Hislast).  Basically the same idea as a hypen without the actual hypen.  Our computers at work have a hard time with hypens so I’m a bit biased against them having been frustrated by them so many times. 

Post # 14
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I didn’t change my name.  My last name is awesome, people call me by it all the time, and it shows my heritage, so there was no way I was changing it.  My Darling Husband is totally fine with it… his only concern was how we would name any future children, but we are on the same page in that they will have his last name.  

I think my in-laws were a little disappointed because they kept bringing it up after the wedding (we hadn’t discussed it with them before and I think they just assumed I was changing my name), but I definitely don’t feel pressure to change it.  

Post # 15
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m on the fence, and I decided that I’m not going to make a decision until at least a year after the wedding, and maybe even wait until we have kids.  I’ll be getting a PhD probably one year after my wedding.  I began the PhD before I even knew him, and I’d kind of like the name I started with on my degree. 

 I definitely don’t want to get rid of my middle name because it is a family name I love, but I’m known my my current last name so I don’t want to get rid of that either.  However, he kind of likes the idea of sharing a last name, and I like the idea of sharing the same last name with my future kids.  So, as a compromise, I’m probably eventually going to either have 2 last names or hypenate (even those both names are pretty terrible and it would be the worst hypenated name ever- hahaha).  That way my maiden name is still there and it doesn’t hold me back in the field, but I still share part of my name with my husband and family.  I’m not really sure which I want to do, and I’m going to take my time to think about because it is an important decision and I want to make the right one! 

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