(Closed) Married a week, and our great relationship prior marriage seems off now..HELP!!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
9670 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Talk it all out! Reconnect. Have sex. Have date night. Do something fun. Get a little distance from MIL (who sounds like she has an issue for sure, but let him deal with that). Sounds like it was a stressful first week, so keep talking it out and putting one foot infront of the other and I’m sure next week will be better.

Post # 3
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


MrsBuesleBee:  You give such great advice, everytime I read a comment of yours on a thread I smile. You go girl πŸ™‚

Post # 4
721 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s understandable to feel exhausted post wedding.  You and your DH haven’t had a chance to just relax.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Post # 5
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To be honest our honeymoon wasn’t our greatest week ever. I ended up having a panic attack about the fact it was all so final (totally irrational) and spent the whole week feeling a bit nervous! 

Fast forward two years and we are very happy and I couldn’t be happier to be married to the man of my dreams! We also didn’t live together or have sex before marriage so marriage was a big adjustment for us. It’s all working out so far πŸ™‚

Post # 6
12159 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

MrsKay23Nov:  weddings are exhausting!  It sounds like you’re just living the post wedding stress.  I agree with MrsBuesleBee: go have a date night.  Do something that was completely you guys before you got married.  You’ll be fine πŸ˜€

Post # 7
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Wait, why does he have you cooking for his damn mother?  

Post # 8
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It sounds like you guys need some time to yourselves to come back down from all the stress and high drama that comes with getting married. It’s a really happy time, but any change is stressful. I think taking some time to relax together and talk would be a big help for you. Good luck.

Post # 9
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MrsKay23Nov:  Oh I think its totally normal. Remember– everything isnt sunshine and roses- sometimes you have good weeks and bad weeks! You just had a series of stressful events. Just ride it out I am sure you will get back to normal soon. PLus one to the PP about talking it out maybe

I had a really hard time right after the wedding- the finality of it kinda hit it me, even though we have been together a long time and living together for 3 year come wedding time. Cut yourself some slack its a major transition!

Post # 10
9670 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

MstoMrsH:  that is so sweet thank you. 

Post # 11
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

MrsKay23Nov:  Honestly, I think there is always great expectation that things will FEEL different, and life will be smiles and sunshines upon becoming Mr & Mrs, and then you wake up the morning after the wedding – after planning the biggest party you will ever throw – and things go back to the ‘same’ schedule/roles/, etc, etc, etc.  All of a sudden, you are left questioning why things do not feel different, or why you are stressed about how your in laws acted, because you are never ever supposed to be stressed or upset ever again…you are a WIFE afterall πŸ™‚

We, as women, put a ton of pressure on ourselves, and when we do that it will affect our feelings toward those we love the most.  I am not saying that is why things are ‘off’, but I bet it might have something to do with it.  The good news is you are normal, and well, even though we are ‘supposed’ to be on cloud 9, and in newlywed bliss, we are also human.  Life will still stress you out, in laws will still maybe be a pain, even if you are a wife.  The better news is that our husbands is legally bound to all of our ‘crazy’ now, so cannot run for the hills (I kid, of course).

As other PPs stated…decompress with a date night, or a bottle of wine!

Post # 12
4036 posts
Honey bee

MrsKay23Nov:  Honestly you are focusing on a lot of little things and the negatives. I understand that you have been stressed and just took a big step toward committment, but if you try focusing on the positives (you married the love of your life, you are building a life together, etc), then it will help you start to feel better as well.

I am assuming you married your husband for the right reasons, maybe you just need to remind yourself of those reasons and focus on that. 

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