(Closed) married at the courthouse, now i want a big recpetion…HELP!

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m very sorry about your grandfather.

As for the wedding, I did a small private ceremony and am having a big reception, so obviously, I don’t have a problem with it! Several other Bees are too, though–and it can be common, especially for things like elopements and/or courthouse weddings. I had a lot of the same reservations as you do, but at the end of the day, I think my friends adn family understood that I’m not a public person when it comes to personal ritual.

You can also restage some of your vows if you like, wear your dress again, and/or say part of your vows when you toast guests (if you toast them) to make it a little more “weddingish.”

As far as the gifts thing goes, if it concerns you, then do a smaller registry and don’t put it on your invite, Save-The-Date Cards, shower invite, website–don’t advertise it. Just inform your parents and close friends and those who want to give you a gift will seek it out.

Post # 4
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Do whatever you want, and don’t listen to what other people say about gift-grabbing and whatnot. Plenty of people do the big reception after the small wedding, and I absolutely agree that you should wear the dress if you want, and even have another ceremony if you want. I think that others may find having the shower and the bachelorette party to be a little stranger than having the big wedding, but if someone is willing to throw them, then so be it. 

Post # 5
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry about your grandfather.

I agree w/ pp who say to have a big party! Plenty of people do that. I also agree w/ Jenny as far as the gifts & such. I don’t feel it’s “gift-grabbing” to want a big celebration. It’s your marriage, you should celebrate it!!

However, I think the shower & bachelorette party boats have sailed, IMO. I wouldn’t be too keen on attending either of those things knowing the couple were already married.

Post # 6
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Just do it. No matter what a given couple’s wedding planning circumstances are, there’s going to be at least one point along the way when you get criticism from somebody for the decisions you make. So just have the wedding and anyone who doesn’t like it can go screw themselves. If anyone is rude about it, just smile and say “Sorry you feel that way, but we’re excited for our upcoming wedding with all our family and friends.” And ignore them.

Post # 7
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You can totally do this–screw the naysayers! We’re not doing a whole ceremony next year, but we are having a big reception in addition to our small courthouse wedding and reception this year. I personally would not do another shower or anything like that, but a vow renewal is totally fine.

Post # 8
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t see any problem with having a reception now.  I might not push for the shower/bachelorette party… Why didn’t somebody throw one between your engagement and your first wedding? 

Post # 11
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I say if you want a big wedding, then let noone stop you from having one.  If it’s important to you, then that’s what matters.  My husband and I had a courthouse wedding with noone there, it was just us, and now we’re planning our bigger ceremony (Janurary 29th, i’m so execited!).  i have told people that we are NOT expecting gifts, however.  i did not ask my parents for a dime.  my parents did pay for half my wedding dress but that was ONLY b/c they paid for half of it while i was still in the dressing room, and couldn’t stop them (i never asked them for a penny) but anyway, if a wedding is important to you and will make you happy, then ignore what anyone else may say about it and let them know that if they don’t like it, then they’re not invited.  good luck, girl!

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