(Closed) Married Bees, a question for you!

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would have paid the extra money to extend my reception, it went by WAY too quickly!

Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

…I had investigated photographers a little more. I know, now, who I would have picked. NOT who I did!!! Mine has fallen off the face of the earth basically.

Budget-wise, I think I did amazing. I spent money where it was important (venue) and cut back everything that was more trivial to me (cake, flowers, limited open bar), etc. And, I’m glad we treated our bridesmaids and groomsmen the way we did. We took $50 off their tuxes and provided their dresses, hair, and makeup. Taking care of my ‘maids was more important than cake Smile.

Oh i wish i would have told my parents to be ready half an hour earlier. They made me late to my own damn wedding and cut into photo time! Grrrowl.

Post # 5
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Good topic!

I realize that while, it was my day, what sticks with you is how good it feels when your guests wil tell you years later that your wedding was so much fun.  I think it’s worth it to spend that extra effort on your guests than more expensive flowers, etc.

I also would have gone for a different photographer and videographer.  But all in all, no disaster stories.


Post # 6
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I’m with EJS, I didn’t do enough background/current references/research in regards to my photographer.  A year later and several hundred dollars in legal fees and we are still working on it.

I would have done a first look before the ceremony.  I was dead set against it and looking back, I wish we’d had some time just the two of us.

I would have designed my own invitations and had a bit more DIY.  There are always shoulda-woulda-coulda’s but I am so happy with our marriage, the one day of wedding really isn’t that big a deal.  Besides, there are always vow renewals one day!

Post # 7
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’d suggest thinking of what you want to do in your photos. I just stood there and smiled for my portraits and they look dull. The photographer got some awesome shots, but I’m not happy with my portraits and it’s my own fault.

Everything else was no big deal. I didn’t notice all the stuff I didn’t finish. It was a great day.

Post # 8
3332 posts
Sugar bee

Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that…things that went wrong bothered me, but not as much as I thought they would.  A lot of people kept saying that when I got to the wedding day, all the things I was stressing about wouldn’t be important to me at all.  However, I definitely wouldn’t say that they didn’t bother me.  I was a little annoyed when a couple of small things went wrong (wrong cake topper, broken bustle, inappropriate toast), because I’m just not someone who can let EVERYTHING go.  However, the things didn’t really matter that much, in the end, because we had a great time.  So I guess for me, I didn’t realize that even though I wouldn’t be able to ignore it when things went wrong, they didn’t stress me out as much as I thought they would. 😉

Post # 9
7 posts
  • Wedding: July 2009

Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that…

I should have done a first look with my husband. I was nervous to see him for the first time and it showed in ALL of the ceremony pictures.

We should have asked our venue to pack a doggy bag for us.  We were too excited to eat during the reception and when we got to the hotel, we realized we were STARVING.





Post # 10
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

I would of followed my gut and fire my photographer to hire the one I really wanted.

Post # 11
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception

I would have given my florist my centerpiece inspiration picture to keep. Our centerpieces were a little smaller than I thought they would be.

Otherwise, I really wouldn’t change anything! We were blessed with a wonderful day surrounded by wonderful people! Everything else is icing, you know?

Post # 13
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that…

I should have spent more time visiting with guests and less dancing (yes!  I said it!)

I should have brought props for photography

I should have spent more money on a DJ

Post # 14
14 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you are already thinking the budget seems like so much (too much) — scale down. That is my post-wedding advice. I had a fabulously wonderful day and wouldn’t have changed a single thing, except the amount we spent on details (and we didn’t spend that much — $3,500 on everything excluding food/drink). As we were going to sleep on our wedding night, we both realized they day would have been perfectly blissful even if we spent $0 on flowers, centerpieces, etc.

Costly “details” includes the photographer, and I know that’s a scandalous thing to say on the Bee. But we had so, so many friends and family give us their own pictures from the day, in addition to photos from our photographer, that I literally don’t know what to do with them now. I fear they will sit in a box in my basement forever. It’s not that I don’t care about our wedding; you just will be surprised how fast real life reignites after you tie the knot. You will move forward with your husband, hopefully loving every minute of it, and the little things you agnoized over regarding your wedding will mean very little.

Your wedding is the center of your universe at the moment, but it’s not the center of anyone else’s. That’s the brutal truth. Do what you need to do to make it a wonderful day for you and your hubby, but don’t let others’ potential opinions drive you to spend on things you don’t need. There’s a very real chance no one but you will appreciate them, anyway.

Post # 15
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Great Advice, thanks! Keep it coming

Post # 16
21 posts

I wouldn’t have changed a thing but what I heard from guests was that the food was great (it was a cookout, served as a buffet, pretty inexpensive – chicken, ribs, corn, summer salads) and everyone went back for 2nds), the cake was great (simple yellow butter cake with fresh strawberries and cream in the layers, French buttercream frosting decordated with local flowers) and we did a good job in putting together fun tables.  We also made sure we had room for milling around during cocktails and after dinner (even an area for cigar smokers – it was an outdoor affair).  We were also very pleased with choosing a really good jazz band – they played from cocktails through the reception and people could actually talk to each other but still enjoy the music.  We didn’t have dancing (or a dance floor)  though towards the end of the reception they played a few danceable tunes. 

It turned out to be a beatiful summer reception with a laid-back feel, and we were lucky enough to have a gorgeous sunset too.


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