(Closed) Married bees: do you regret spending so much on your wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 3
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

BUMP – I want to know!

Post # 4
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well I can’t say I splurged so to speak, but in retrospect I can say that a lot of things I worried about- flowers, decor, food- all turned out to be unimportant. People are most thrilled to see your ceremony and have a  celebration. i could call up any guest and ask them what color was ___ and I guarantee it would be a struggle to recall.

I know everyone has different reasons for things, perhaps you want things grand for photos or just to impress. But I think with weddings less is more, the people are what make the wedding !

Post # 5
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We went way over budget…everything added up so quickly and we were okay with it. Looking back, the money was nothing (coming from someone who is pretty frugal in every other aspect of life). The wedding day itself was unforgettable and our memories are priceless, whereas we could have spent the same amount on a new car and felt nothing.

Not saying that you need to spend a lot to have nice memories, but for my lack of planning skills and anxiety–it was needed.

Post # 6
15453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry if this doesnt help, but I’m going to answer the flip side.  I didn’t really splurge (20k for about 150 people) and I dont regret it not going all out even though we could afford it.  The day passes by so fast, and like Mrs.Argentina said, most of the details and things we obsess about, most people will probably soon forget.  They will remember the special/funny moments and food… maybe they will comment on centerpieces and uplighting etc at the wedding, but unless you’re going for jaw dropping wow, it will probably soon be forgotten, along with invitations that will be tucked away or tossed.  With that said, if I wasnt so “frugal/cheap”, what have you, and did splurge, I’d probably tell you it was worth every penny and I loved my wedding.  I think its rare to find someone that later regrets their wedding, cause they do whatever was important to them within their budget/means. 

Post # 7
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, my parents pitched in a lot for the wedding, so i didn’t really feel like we splurged… they paid about 20K for the wedding, and we paid about 2K for the wedding and another 18Kish for the rings and the honeymoon.

But, I know if we would’ve spent the same amount without my parents’ assistance, I would’ve regretted it (but I probably wouldn’t have done it in the first place). We bought a house right before our first anniversary with 20% down, and spending that much on the wedding would’ve meant we had to postpone our house purchase (or buy a smaller/not as nice house). I know I would have regretted it if the wedding costs had messed up our house-buying plans. 

I will say that I sometimes I feel like we really splurged on my engagement ring (by “we,” I mean my husband… he spent more than I would have if I had been more involved in picking it out… haha), but I never ever regret that. I love my ring so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Post # 8
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We are not married yet and I have a very small budget by choice because we chose to buy a home instead of having a huge wedding, I dont regret it one but and if I had the extra cash to spend more on a wedding, I still would not do it. I like having a savings account with money it in case of an emergency. 

Post # 9
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@jackndiane: I totally can relate!  My budget started out lower than your original budget and ended up being higher than your current number. 

I definitely splurged on some areas (formal, engraved invitations on thick, cotton-panel cards; a professional calligrapher, whose work absolutely stunned my guests; amazing flowers; an eight-page, professionally printed program to coordinate with my invitations; fabulous hors d’oeurves; a “surf and turf” combo platter for my guests at the reception; and a ridiculously expensive cathedral veil with Swarovski crystals, etc. I do not regret spending any of THAT money.

However, I had a Badgley Mischka purse that I doubt that any of my guests actually saw. I did get it 50 percent off, but, still.  I also had three pairs of wedding shoes (one was because I couldn’t return them and had found others that I liked better.) In hindsight I would probably want to re-allocate some of that money — and more — into a couple of areas where I now wish I had spent MORE money.  However, I cannot go back and re-do anything at this point, so I have been learning to live with the choices that I made.

Post # 10
5294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

No. We had a budget, stuck to it, and actually came out under. I think the majority of the money was well-spent, and I don’t think we would change anything major. 

Post # 11
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Definitely not.  Our budget was $25,000, and we came in under that by less than $100.

We would have spent more had we had a reason to, but it was just by chance that we came in so close.

In retrospect, however, I probably would have a) chosen my dress more carefully, and b) spent a little more on a DJ.

Post # 12
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Great idea for a thread… 

We are in the position that many of your mentioned… we can AFFORD for our budget to be higher… but we are budgeting what we are comfortable spending on a wedding. I am hoping we won’t regret anything!

Post # 13
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Since I work in the event planning business I know what kind of deals are out there and how much they negotiate with you. Not so much with wedding stuff. So I refused to spend alot of things that most people wont remember and i will only wear for a couple of hours.

My sister, who is in the process of getting divorced, spent $250 on her wedding and has nothing to show for it.

So far my dress is only $600 (found a great designer that is less), beautiful outdoor venue that is in nature for under $3000, bid on a charity for a photographer and costs way less than the gonig rate, veil and tiara under $100.00

Our wedding will probably cost us $12K and I do not feel that I am really skimping on anything. We could put in another $10K but do not think we need to. Plus I would rather spend that on our honeymoon, house and future kids.


Post # 14
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yes and no. We didn’t splurge exactly (we had a relatively modest budget–started at 12K), but the expenses always managed to go beyond what we expected, one way or another. In an ideal, more disciplined world, we would have spent less, but spending more or less wouldn’t have changed what our wedding day felt like or what it meant to us.

Ultimately, we spent what we were able to afford that didn’t put us in debt–just more than we expected. It’s the TIME I spent on silly projects that really rubs me now, not the fact that my dress was over $1400 or the cardstock for invites was $100, or whatever other detail. In a perfect world, I would have had unlimited money to spend on my peace of mind!

ETA: I didn’t include honeymoon in the wedding budget. We spent at least 8K on three weeks in Ireland. Money perfectly spent!

Post # 15
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

 Not including rings and honeymoon, we spent about $17,000 on 125 people. The only regrets I have are wasting money on things noone cared about (wedding programs, invitiations, flowers,etc) and not allocating that money for a videographer. Our original budget was 30k, but we ended up taking over a date for a couple that canceled so we got our reception for almost half price. Now, if I would have spent the original budget, I would have regretted it, but I was comfortable with the final one. r

Post # 16
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No regrets here. We spent a pretty penny and our guests enjoyed themselves. I was under for a lot of things but then added in a bunch of extra stuff towards the end. We had a ball and the memories are priceless. I only wish I could do it over and be a guest at my own wedding. LOL! Hosting is draining!

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