(Closed) Married Bees– do your parents get along with your ILs?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

They get along with eachother but they don’t see eachother very often since they live across the country from eachother.

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Our parents get along great. My mom actually knew his mom years before we met, when they were both young couples involved in our temple. We all get together occasionally for dinner, and sometimes if there’s a holiday.

Post # 6
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

They get along quite well. They actually have pretty similar personalities, which helps. They’re all fairly introverted and laid back, and would much prefer to just chill out together and speak honestly versus putting on a show for each other (as would sometimes be the case in the Southern tradition of my family). It works out very well, but there’s also no pressure for them to spend a lot of time together, so they typically only see each other when we get together for holidays, even though they live about ten miles away from each other. (My husband and I are on the other side of the country).

Post # 7
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

They do! Well just my mom {my parents are divorced}. But my mom and Mother-In-Law have lots in common and even hang-out on their own fairly often! I think it’s great. We all live within a 30-45 minute drive of one another and it definitely makes family get-togethers and holidays much easier as often one side will just invite the other! 

I can’t imagine how stressful it would be if they didn’t get along. Applies to our sibs as well!

Post # 8
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Nope.  Not at all.  I’ll just leave it at that…

Post # 9
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My dad and step mom have only met one of the hubby’s cousins. I don’t know if they’d get along at all. I’m almost afraid to have them meet, I’m sure they will one day but until then….

My mom and stepdad have met his mom and step dad. What was weird about it all was his ex stepdad(who is still quite involved with us since the ex and his mom were married from when he was 4 until he was 18 or 19) used to work with my stepdad. Recently I really thought about it and I had met him 10 years ago or so when he was a little punk teenager and I was already married with a baby, he’s 2 years younger than me and I was a teen mom with tons of responsibilities and no time for a punk. Who knew we’d grow up re-meet one another and be happily married.

As a side note I grew up with my dad and lived several states away so I didn’t really get to know many people here during the 2 visits I had a year to my moms. I started over here after my divorce…

sorry for the novel 🙂

Post # 10
3004 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m not married but I’ll chime in.

My IL do not get along with my parents. They know I am actually closer to my IL than I am with my own parents only because my parents have pushed me away.

What makes me the most frustrated is that my own mom has never had an actual conversation with my Future Mother-In-Law or Future Father-In-Law. They’ve never had a sit down dinner or anything like that. Sometimes it makes me so mad I wanna cry

Post # 11
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The only person in my family that likes Mother-In-Law is my grandfather because I haven’t told him what goes on with her so all he has heard is a couple of good things from the beginning of our relationship.  Everyone else dislikes her.

Everyone likes my Father-In-Law and his wife as they are much more pleasant to be around.

Post # 12
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@SweetRose2011: That is so frustrating. Maybe over the years, your parents will warm up to them.

They get along fine. Both families are very easy going and they make every effort to get along – ask how the other set of parents is doing, say hello, invite them to dinner etc. I guess it is what makes it so easy to love my ILs is because they are so like my parents.

Post # 13
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Our parents used to be friends, our dads went to college together and all of us (the kids) were in school together over the years.  However, after seeing and hearing about how my in-laws have treated my husband and I since we got engaged and married, my parents are less than thrilled to see them.  I don’t know how my in-laws feel…we don’t talk much these days.

Post # 14
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

They definitely get along. I think if they didn’t it would make for some awkward times for sure. Both of our families are pretty different. He has more conservative family members while I have the loud southern group so my parents tone it down when they are around my in laws. I don’t think there will be a ton of interaction between them even though we all live within an hour of each other until kids are in the picture. I am about to have our first family get together at our house at the end of the month where I am cooking since my side has been bugging me about it so much (they live an hour away so they don’t get to be here very much while my husband’s parents live 2 miles away and can drop in anytime). I am nervous because I don’t know if my in laws will be offended that I didn’t ask them to come over as well. But I don’t want my side to feel like they need to tone it down when they are here, I want them to feel like they can be their loud selves so we’ll see how all of that pans out.

Post # 15
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Not married yet (almost!) but my parents and ILs get along fabulously!  So happy about that!!!!  They’re very similar, so it’s nice!!

Post # 16
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

our wedding is in a year and our parents still haven’t met. they live about 4 hours away from each other and we go visit my parents much more often than they come to us (we live 30 minutes away from FI’s family). we keep putting off the meeting but i think this fall we’re just going to buck up and make it happen. our parents have very little in common and a lot of opposite/conflicting beliefs (think democrats/republicans, jewish/catholic, reserved/outgoing, etc) but we just keep telling ourselves that in the end they all love us and are happy about our marriage and that will be enough to make everyone get along for a few hours. crossing our fingers…

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