Post # 1
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
Since I’ve gotten engaged, I feel like the most common remark I get is something along the lines of… “Marriage is so hard… But it’s good!” I almost feel like it’s the fashionable thing for married people to say- something about how difficult it is. Kind of like when you ask people how they are and they always say “busy!” Now, i dont mean to say that I dont think it’s difficult in general, and I’m not trying to bring some karma onto myself by supposing it’s easy haha. I just want to see if anyone feels like it’s not that bad and doesn’t mind sharing it.
PS if it is easy for you, why do you think that is?
Post # 3
Hostess
4996 posts
Honey bee
I’ve only been married for a year but nothing has really changed since we were dating. I think it gets harder when people are together for a long time, especially if you throw in children, money troubles and family issues. Maybe some Bees who have been married longer can chime in.
Post # 4
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
For us, I don’t know if easy is the word may more along the lines of natural. We flow in very much the same way so being with him is definitely the easiest relationship I’ve ever had in my more than 20 years of dating. I can’t think of anything we’ve really struggled with. Having said that we are both older, kids grown, and most of the typical things the experts say couples fight about or cause the most stress we had already been down those roads separately. We talked about almost every eventuality before we got married and really almost think exactly alike on how we would handle them if they arise. We also approach everything as a couple, “it’s us against the world” kind of thinking, which, imo, helps.
Post # 5
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee
We’re not married yet but everyone has told me it’s so much easier and that’s what I expected. Obviously there will be issues but we’ve already gotten through a lot together and now that we’ve made vows to never leave each other ever I think it’ll be even easier to get through issues because we’ll know it really doesn’t matter we’re not going anywhere.
Post # 6
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
We have been married for one month and although I love it there are some things that I could describe as hard.
We did not live together before marriage and he was baught up very differnetly to me…. meaning his mother did everything and I mean everything for him so it is just taking some adjustments. Like at 10pm he wonders why his work shirt and pants are not ironed… and I look at him and go well im not doing them, its your shirt and pants!
Also I think families can cause issues… his mum wants us over 1 to 2 times a week!!!!
So it is more about adjusting I suppose if you havent lived together. Otherwise it is great 🙂
Post # 7
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t really get it. I mean, like a pp poster said, I would think it’s more natural. Maybe it’s harder in that you have to work a little more at keeping the home fires burning after you’ve been together years and years…
I am not married yet, but Fiance and I have been together 6 years and I can’t imagine that things are going to change just because we got married. If anything, it would just be a deeper bond or feeling, but nothing will really change. I KNOW kids will change things, but again, I think ultimately it’ll bring us closer. Us vs. Kids…. battle for survival haha
6 years isn’t that long in the scheme of things, but I know I’m more in love and ga ga over him today than I was even back in the first year. He’s just so wonderfully fantastic!
Post # 8
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee
Marriage is fantastic. It’s no more difficult than being engaged or living together. There are ups and downs, but we always have each other. It sounds so cliche, I know. It is different for everyone, of course, but I feel like it shouldn’t be hard.
Post # 9
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
@FutureMrsT1221: I am a firm believer in the following phrase: “Getting married is easy, its staying married thats the hard part”
Ive only been married 6 months. But DH and I have been together 10 years. Not that that matters bc ive known couples who have been together a decade, got married and divorced shortly thereafter. But I am confident that we are in it for.ev.er. its not always going to be peaches n cream. But what has worked for us all these years, is not going to bed mad, communicating every single thing. Trust. Honesty.
If you are both wiliing to work at ypur relationship, and you are both on the same page, then you have nothing to worry abput.
Theres nothing to be scared about, just know that there will easy days (hopefully more easy that not easy), but when you have a bad day, you work it out and move on!
Post # 10
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
We’ve only been married a month, BUT nothing changed and we have been living the same way for the last 5 and a bit years. I didn’t find it difficult before we got married, so as nothing has changed except for the legalities, I don’t know why it would suddenly become difficult.
I don’t think I know anyone in a long term, happy relationship who thinks it is hard to be with the person they love.
Post # 11
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
@FutureMrsT1221: I find marriage extremely easy. My husband is very supportive and loving. We work together very well. We don’t have any financial issues. I’m happy.
Post # 12
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
@FutureMrsT1221: I find marriage extremely easy. My husband is very supportive and loving. We work together very well. We don’t have any financial issues. I’m happy.
Post # 13
Member
1922 posts
Buzzing bee
I find it to be very easy. We have an very supportive, respectful, loving, and friendly (I married my best friend!) relationship. Pretty much everything @sharontobemarried said. 🙂
Post # 14
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
I’ve been married just under a year and a half. I’m not sure I would describe marriage as easy because it does take work. But it’s wonderful! We didn’t live together before getting married either and that has been very easy. We’ve had to deal with some difficult things, such as infertility, but we’ve never struggled with things like money or housekeeping. Honestly, marriage is way better than I had imagined.
Post # 15
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
@FutureMrsT1221: We have been married 6 months, together for 10 1/2 years. It hasn’t been difficult or very different for us. We have had tough times in the past, but nothing major. We are pretty compatible and communicate well.
Post # 16
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
@FutureMrsT1221: ugh i know. i dont understand either. ive been with my fi for 5.5yrs now, i dont understand how it will change (we own a house together and everything).. and everyone just says oh it will change once you get married. you have to work at it. i havent felt like ive been working for the last 5.5 yrs so why would i have to with a ring on my finger?