(Closed) Married bees- Does anyone find marriage easy?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 62
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

smooth sailing – we have clearly defined expectations of eachother and if there’s something that’s bugging the other person we clearly lay it out and attempt to find a solution so it doesn’t end up in a fight or resentment. 

We’ve been together 9 years, married 3 and I can count the fights we’ve had on one hand. 

Post # 63
Member
6603 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well …I think it depends how long you’ve been on your own before marriage. We both had for a significant periof time so yes … thinking always of us instead of me has been an adjustment… that said, I’m very happy being married and figuring things out together. Now, ttc … that’s another story. We are probably ccb, but are discussing … for me it seems like it would be a huge overwhelming adjustment so I’m scared of that. But being married as a whole is definitely a positive 🙂

Post # 64
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Chrissy26:  Thanks — that’s great to hear!

Post # 65
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

To be honest I think its super easy. We had already lived together for 7 years and shared bills, responsibilities, etc so really nothing changed when we got married. Its literally exactly the same. I really don’t think it has taken much work or effort at all, as bad as that may sound lol.

 

Post # 66
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ll be married two years this coming April. I would say that marriage is easy AND hard. It’s easy in the day to day living with each other. We get along well and operate pretty similiarly, so we’re not challenged by different routines, etc. 

It can get difficult because I am always trying to keep things fresh…or not feel too sensitive if he doesn’t pay me the same kind of attention day in and day out. You have to wake up every day and choose to have a good outlook and choose to love and choose which battles to pick. That’s where I think it can get “hard.” 

In the past couple years I think I’ve decided that there’s no such thing as two people who are perfect for each other and will be able to stay married 50 years with no problems. Marriage is a choice and I think as the years go on, it can be harder to remember each other with all the other stuff that comes along with life. 

Sometimes I think every marriage should come with a mandatory marriage counseling session each year. Just a time and place to check in and make sure you’re both doing good things for your marriage. 🙂

Post # 67
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@FutureMrsT1221:  I don’t see the difference between marriage and any other long-term relationship. Did they mean monogamy was tough ? Being in a relationship is tough ? 

I already live as a ”married” couple with my Fiance and I felt exactly the same with my ex when I used to be with him and live with him (we were together 9 years). A piece of paper doesn’t change anything to our daily life, it just gives us legal and financial protection in case there’s a problem.

For all these reasons, I don’t think marriage is hard or easy. It depends on your relationship. If you’re not with the right person for you, then it must be hard. 

Post # 68
Member
9534 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrsT1221:  we lived together for a year before marriage and have been married about 4 months.  while we haven’t had any obstacles to overcome together, so far everything has been pretty easy.  i joke around to friends and say DH is an even better husband than fiance because all i hear is “Yes, dear.”

 

we are having an amazing time being marriage to each other.

 

Post # 69
Member
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@FutureMrsT1221:  My DH and I lived together before we were married.  Being married is not any harder than being together long term. 

Now, trying to get pregnant is hard.  Especially since my hormones went crazy after getting off the pill and since it has been more than 6 months with no results. Infertility is very hard and trying on even the strongest relationships. 

Post # 70
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FutureMrsT1221:  I dont find it hard….We have been together for almost 6 years and have lived together for over 2 years.  Everything is still the same.  Our ‘hard’ times are who gets to watch what they want.  Well, we fixed that problem.  Im getting rid of cable and I have netflix in the bedroom and he has it in the living room.  So now our only problem is figuring out what to eat for dinners and wishing he would clean more.  But that is what he said he is doing today since he has the day off! 🙂

Post # 71
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

Just like any relationship, every marriage will have its moments of difficulty. There is no way that you are both going to agree 100% on every decision you ever have to make in life. I believe that your frame of mind makes a significant difference in how difficult the issues you have will become. My husband and I are both strong willed and stubborn, so when we disagree on something important it can be difficult for us to find a compromise that will make both of us happy. We know that at the end of the day we both care about each others’ happiness as much as (if not more than) our own, so we’re able to work through everything and find a good solution, even if it does take some arguing to get there.

I would absosutely not say that marriage is easy, but if you’re in the right marriage for the right reasons it makes the difficult moments worth while and easier to get through.

Post # 72
Member
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

honestly nothings changed from when we were dating (8yrs before getting married) so marriage has been easy. we lived together befor hand so no surprises there etc, know each other in and out. but things will no doubt change when we have children and that will be a real test.

Post # 73
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We’ve been married only a few months, but it is far easier than I anticipated. A lot of people/articles like to try and make it seem like marriage is just incredibly hard and difficult. I think they can be quite damaging.

Our life circumstances are really hard right now. Career uncertainty for both of us means he needs to go back to school, and I hope and pray my teacher certification is accepted here. I have health issues. I’m newly pregnant with a surprise baby. Immigration diminished almost all of our savings. We have had a HUGE income drop, losing about 75% of our joint income compared with 18 months ago. I am in my late 20s and we are living with my inlaws to make ends meet, until something comes right and we can get back on oour feet. Life in general is really, really hard right now.

 

I am pregnant at the moment, and the current fad on blogs etc seems to be making sure we all KNOW that parenting is the most difficult, worst, hardest thing ever. I’m trying to remember that those sentients were commonly shared around marriage and ended up being untrue, so hopefully parenting won’t be as awful as people make it out to be!

Post # 74
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsT1221:  Legit i just said to my husband “i love being married, its so much better” and he totally agreed. 

I hated being engaged. I hated planing my wedding. I dont deal with stress well and i was a terror lol. BUt things have been amazing since we got married.  We have lived together 4 years and been together 5. Its just a different level of committment. And i adore calling him my husband. 

I really believe the whole “marriage is hard” thing is from the 60s when people didnt live together before marriage. 

Post # 75
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

we have been together for almost 15 years, dating is easy, marriage is not easy but it takes alot of communication and effort from both parts. I feel like most things can be worked out. 

Post # 76
Member
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s easy because we have the same wonderful relationship we had for 4 years prior to getting married. 

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