Post # 1
We’re a year out and our Guest List was originally 120 people and has slowly crept up to 135 people. Out limit was 125 (meaning, if all people we invited attended, this was all we could afford to cover).
*Please note, Fiance and I are paying for the entire thing ourselves.
My mom informed me of an additional family of four who expects that they are invited, but are not.
We’ve looked the list over and have identified two parties of two (one from each of our lists) who we could eliminate. We don’t WANT to, but we could, if we absolutely had to.
I am having a hard time justifying removing people from our list that we’d LIKE to have there for people who we are “obligated” to invite. We thought this would be easier since we are paying, but we’re still finding instances where the family wants to “keep the peace” and have us invite certain people anyway.
Asking my mom to cover the plates of certain people is not an option, because I can’t be sure she will come through with the money. My mom said she wanted to buy my dress and so far, I’ve had to pay for the whole thing myself.
So, my question is: Did you regret removing certain people from the list? I have this nightmare that all 135 people will show up WITH extra people and we won’t be able to afford it.
Post # 3
just add them to the b list.. if people respond and say no they are coming send that familys invite… we did that. we had 25 no’s so far and sent out 5 more invites// our max list is 220. our guest list total is 230..(with vendors and my fiance and me and our children included)
Post # 4
I agree, if you sort into a “B” list, and send out your “A” list invites early, you can start to invite those “B” list guests as declines come in!
Post # 5
I hate a/b listing where one sends out two rounds of invites personally. Are you planning to do save the dates though? You can always send those out to the people you know way ahead that you have to invite and then verbally get a feel for how many people are even interested in coming. We have a lot of out of town guests and the std round resulted in a lot of our cousins responding that they wouldn’t be attending.
Overall we invited 146 people including +1s, and guests whod already indicated they couldnt come and ended up with 82 people at our wedding.
Post # 6
@pengoala: I agree. This is probably the easiest way to send out invites without worrying you may have too many people.
Post # 7
@SapphireSun: I was actually thinking of NOT sending out any Save the Dates at all, in the hoeps that people I’m not in constant contact with wouldn’t be able to come when regular invites go out.
Post # 8
@csteen85: that works too. For us save the dates only went to the people we REALLY wanted to save the date and out of town guests that we wanted to get a feel for if they were at all interested We didn’t send them to people who were on our guest list that could potentially experience an evolving relationship, that we might feel differently about inviting 6 months down the road.
Post # 9
While A/B lists sound like a good idea, I’m not sure they would always work. The vast majority of people who declined our invitation sent their RSVP cards in the very last week. Prior to that, we had over a 90% acceptance rate. Had we wanted to send invites to a B list it would have been too late, since our “B” guests would see that the respond by date was in 1-2 days (or had passed) and would know they were last minute invites. If you really want to do this, maybe you can print out two sets of reply cards just in case. If your A list must respond by April 15, your B list could respond by May 5 or something.