(Closed) Married Bees-If you knew then what you know now…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: If you knew then what you know now, would you have changed your choice of bridesmaids
    Yes : (15 votes)
    47 %
    No : (17 votes)
    53 %
  • Post # 3
    2681 posts
    Sugar bee

    I wouldnt have changed who my bridesmaids were, but I wouldve had my Maid/Matron of Honor be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and had another Bridesmaid or Best Man be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  My Maid/Matron of Honor didnt do anything wrong, she was great but I am now much better friends with my Bridesmaid or Best Man who I wouldve rathered been the Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 4
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would have kept mine the same…but only because I had just my Maid/Matron of Honor who was amazing!!!

    Post # 5
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    No.  We chose my sister as our only attendant and I am so glad we did.  I was worried that my husband would regret not having a true best man, but ihe says he doesn’t.  It was wonderful because it was so simple to just worry about one person rather than twelve. 

    Post # 6
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I didn’t even get married yet and I wish I could change mine!

    Post # 7
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    if you had asked me this right after the wedding I would have given you a change- his sister caused a lot of drama by skipping all the bridesmaid things including my shower for what i felt were flimsy excuses. I realize now a few months after the wedding that she was honored to be a part of it and she just didnt know what to do- and her mom told her she didnt have to do those things. So now I’m glad we included her.


    Before the wedding I think I was annoyed at least with every bm (exept my MOH) at one point and they all really came through on the day!

    Post # 8
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t change a thing.  Laughing

    Post # 9
    2083 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would have kept it the same. Sure, I would have loved it to be drama free but I learned that in the wedding world nothing is 100% stress free.

    Post # 11
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would’ve dropped the crazy girl who asked me after the wedding if she could move in with my husband and i. Oh wait, she didn’t ask, she ASSUMED it’d be ok. Then when i told her it “wasn’t feasible”, she flipped out and said we weren’t friends.

    So i’d cut one out =]

    Post # 12
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    nope! I didn’t have any bridesmaids! I had a couple of close friends help me get ready the day of, but other than that no one! and my best friends appreciated the fact that they didn’t have to go out and buy a dress that they didn’t like or sit at a table away from their other friends…it was great!

    Post # 13
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Yeah, I think a lot of you read my recap, which included the horror story of my maid of honor.  It was such a horrible experience that I’m reevaluating the entire friendship, not just the choice to have her stand up next to me.  I know now that I chose her over other friends because I knew she was the only friend of mine that would be angry if she wasn’t my maid of honor.  That was a horrible reason to choose someone, and it wasn’t her fault, it was mine.  It breaks my heart that other friends, who deserved that honor, didn’t get it because I was too afraid of pissing off one friend, who hasn’t been a good friend to me anyway.  Those wonderful friends spent the week of my wedding working to keep my MOHs behavior from becoming a problem, as much as they could.  She has always made things about her and can’t manage to think about anyone else–my other dear friends thought only about me and made my week amazing.  I am so lucky to have those friends, and I’m glad that I learned so much from this experience with my Maid/Matron of Honor.  But yes, if I could go back and do it differently, I definitely would.  

    Post # 14
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i loved my bridesmaids! i chose my sil and sister b/c it’s a small wedding so we just wanted close family. they were amazing! they were always interested and asking about the wedding, and they threw me the best parties! even though my sister it oot, she was very involved and even randomly bought me my hair flower one day. it made me really excited to be her moh one day.

    Post # 15
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I’m not sure that I would have changed the choice, but I would have made them wait longer and really consider what I was asking before they said yes. I said what I would need from BMs and that it was really up to them if they wanted to take on the responsability or to just be guests and I’d be fine either way

    They all were like immediately “oh yeah, definitely!” “of course! this will be great!” but when it came time for doing the things I’d talked about (helping with shower, finding dresses) they didn’t actually help out, which was kind of akward. My Maid/Matron of Honor was amazing, but I felt a little bad that I hadn’t found much help for her.

    Post # 16
    540 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would have. My friends with a few of the ladies dwindled and their lack of interest truly showed on the wedding day.

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