(Closed) Married bees or any bees close to their date

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Most of ours came in before the rsvp deadline. There were some stragglers, but at our venue, we could add plates, but couldn’t subtract  once we gave a ‘final’ number. So for our count I gave them the # for people I had heard from. We added a few plates after that and it didn’t seem to be a big deal.

Post # 4
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

most of ours came before the rsvp. All the rest that came after that were people that we had to hunt down. When they didn’t by the RSVP date we, and our parents called and got thier dinner orders over the phone rather than calling to just ask them send it. it ended up working out and we had our ‘final’number in on time and acturate.

Post # 5
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

When our RSVP date passed, maybe 60% had responded. I tracked some people down and got answers, but last week we still had 20 people or so that I could not get an answer from. I did have an RSVP show up yesterday (12 days before our wedding!). We just counted all the unknowns as yeses, but we are doing our own food so it’s not a big deal cost-wise like yours is. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our wedding is September 3rd.

On Augusdt 5th (our RSVP cut off) we have received may 23 RSVP’s back out of the 60+ we were expecting. So frustrating!!
We took into consideration that there had just been a big mail strike and it was the summer, but people were just lazy!
We had to call/email so many of our guests and quite often the answer was “oh, it’s sitting on my table, I keep forgetting to mail it”. Really??!!

2 guest never actually received their invites in the mail. So they were happy we followed up.

After August 5th we got back maybe 2 or 3 (people we knew were coming).
I found the worst people to be the ones who were married in the last few years!

Good luck 🙂

Post # 7
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

They will keep dwindlin in…heck, we got an RSVP (declining) AFTER our wedding! LOL  If I were you, I would call those who haven’t responded and inquire, instead of waiting for their response card.  I know it’s a pain, but you’re hitting crunch time. 

Post # 8
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

we received all but 2 by the rsvp date, and i contacted those folks to check in with them a week after rsvps were due.  what a bummer for you. i would definitely start callling/emailing them.  best of luck!

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We had some frustrating RSVP stuff go on, though we did get the vast majority of the RSVPS back by the correct date (thankfully, since Canada Post went on strike literally the next day!)

The most annoying situations were

1) Relatives who told my parents they would be attending and didn’t bother RSVPing (my parents live on the other side of the country and weren’t involved much in the wedding planning)

2) A few of my husband’s friends from his university town, who seemed really excited about coming, and then, at the last minute, told OTHER friends that they weren’t going to be able to make it without contacting me directly. I think this was due to embarassment (in one of the two cases, depression + money issues, + poor planning, i.e., hadn’t booked a plane ticket 1 week before the wedding and freaked out about how much it was). Very frustrating.

Post # 10
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

We had a lot that didn’t come in. We split them up depending who’s friends they were (mine, hubby’s, MIL’s, and my mom’s) and called/emailed to track them down. In the end, if they didn’t RSVP they didn’t come, and we didn’t have a place for them.

Post # 11
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think a lot of people wait until the last minute and treat the RSVP date as the deadline to put it in the mail. So hopefully you will get a wave of stragglers Mon-Wed. But yeah…a lot of people just don’t mail them. It’s good that your parents are calling.

Post # 12
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I got a few rsvps after the date and many just didnt bother to respond at all….so frutrating! So if they didnt send one back I am just assuming they are not coming.

Post # 14
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I only had a few like that, but I would call.  If you leave a message and they don’t call back, mark them as a no.

Post # 15
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

we got about 30% of our RSVP’s back the week following our deadline.  I think allot of people waited till the last day to put them in the mail.  Maybe give it a week before starting contacting people.

Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I set our RSVP date for July 1st, I know it was early for an September 3rd wedding, but I didn’t want to be hunting people down and so far it has worked out. I still have a few stragglers that I have chalked up to not coming! The tracking down of guests is the worst! So to answer your question, i would get on those people right away – through whatever method you can – I had family call, emailed friends, and even had to text some people to remind them! But after all that I have a general number. I put out 235 invitations and I have 207 guests attending. 

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