(Closed) Married Bees? Was there a difference?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Was it special?
    yes : (27 votes)
    71 %
    no : (10 votes)
    26 %
    other, i'll explain in the comments : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I’m the wrong Bee to ask because honestly sex for me is mostly about physical sensations. Very few times in my life have I felt like it was an emotional event or “making love”. My wedding night was not one of these times (see other thread where I admit that I can’t remember whether we did the deed that night or not) and I can’t really identify any other night since getting married.

    However, I would also say that losing my virginity wasn’t very emotionally for me either.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    No for me, if “special” means different from any other time with my husband. He’s always special.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I am not yet married and have definitely had sex, and I agree that it will still be special no matter what.

    BUT I can see why someone who has waited until their wedding night might think that their “wedding night sex” might be more significant or special than a couple who did not wait for their wedding night. I haven’t read the article and don’t understand how the dude could possibly know that his was more special, but I can understand why he would think it was.

    I’m almost curious enough to ask for the article, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be incredibly annoying to read, so I’ll spare myself.

    Post # 6
    Bee
    1904 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    Oh well that’s just silly! My first time was really painful and just overall awkward since neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. I personally am glad that my first time was not on my wedding night, but I have nothing but respect for those couples who choose to wait.

    Like a PP said, sex with my husband is special because he is special. Not because we are married.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I felt no difference after we were married.

    Every time with DH is special.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2495 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I won’t lie, on the wedding night there was even more of a connection with DH.. just an extremely sated feeling.* It’s hard to describe, really.

    That being said, not every time is ‘special’ with him (even before we were married). Yes, the love is there, but it’s not a gushy kind of thing all the time.. sometimes it’s a quicky on a lunch break, and sometimes it’s just hot-and-heavy, dirty sex, etc.

    * Of course, we’ve been together 11 1/2 years, and I waited so long to be married to him that I was completely overwhelmed with my feelings on that day.

    Post # 10
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I didn’t vote in the poll because there’s a huge difference between “different” and “special”.  Married sex isn’t any different than pre-married sex for us, but it has always been special.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Cornmuffin09:  I know the article! I read it a few weeks ago and refrained from posting because it made me SO mad I was going to go off at everyone and everything about it!

    I’m not married, so can’t answer that question, but I can say, after reading that odious article, that I am SO glad to be marrying someone who sees the value in me, not my lady parts!  The amount of objectification of women in that article is astounding. I actually felt sorry for his wife, which I don’t think was his intention!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2282 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it’s really sad if sex has to be new or novel to be special. That means that it can only be special for a really short time in your life, and then later it will be … boring? (I think if sex is boring you’re doing it wrong).

    If what makes it special is the person you’re with, then it doesn’t stop being special. 

    Although, I’m also wondering, as I write this, what we even mean by “special.” It’s sex. It feels good. It’s intimate, and if you love and trust the person, you get to feel the wonderful freedom of expressing your most private self to someone you love and trust. And that has absolutely nothing to do with how recently you got married, or if you ever do.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m not even engaged yet, but I wanted to comment to say that for me marriage isnt about sex. I’m not really anticipating our wedding night at all. Sex isn’t tied into marriage in that way for me so I don’t care about it being different.  I’m excitedly anticipating getting married but not bc of sex being more special or anything. I think it’s just a different perspective.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7982 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t vote in the poll because there’s a huge difference between “different” and “special”.  Married sex isn’t any different than pre-married sex for us, but it has always been special. 

    +1 to the above comment.

    And my first time is not something I would have wanted to experience on my wedding night lol.

    Post # 15
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @brighteyedgirl: +1

    It was absolutely special. All I could think was “this man is my HUSBAND now!!” and cried happy/mushy/emotional tears, and I think he almost did too. It was definitely more intimate than usual.

    @cornmuffin09: I read the article you’re talking about and that guy is a total ass. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I believe I know which article you are talking about, and if so, it made me very angry too! Our wedding night and honeymoon was amazing (had sex before marriage), and our sex life now is amazing. I was raised extremely conservatively, and while I still stand by many of the values I grew up with, I definitely feel like so many young people are taught that if they never have sex before marriage, they will have an explosive sex life, which just isn’t always the case.

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