(Closed) Married Bees: What are your wedding day regrets?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 92
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I definitely have some regrets, although for the most part the day was perfect.

– I regret not bustling my dress during pre ceremony pictures. I don’t have my photographs back yet, so hopefully it looks fine, but it was such a pain to carry around, and it got filthy, and it’s a long train so I spent many minutes for each photo fussing about getting it to lie right. It looked so pretty bustled, I should have just done that.

– I wish I had my veil on in more pre ceremony pictures. I have them on in the pictures I did with my family and H’s family, but none of the ones of just H and I (unless I’m forgetting some that we took, lol).

– I really really wish that pre ceremony pictures had been less stressful. Not sure if this is a regret or not, as I’m not sure what could have been done differently…but H was super stressed out (due to an uninvited guest showin up, as I later found out), and he was cranky, and snapping at the photographer, and I wish I had just taken a moment alone with him and reminded him that none of the other crap matters and we were getting MARRIED that day!

– I wish that we had done a station during cocktail hour. Because we didn’t, people were crowded around the bar and it was super packed and difficult to walk around. Not  big deal, I just think stations would have helped.

– A BIG regret (although a stupid one)–I wish I had gotten a nice hanger for my dress! All the pictures will have it on one of those ugly plastic hangers. This is something that just totally slipped my mind in the days before the wedding.

– I wish I had brought shoes to change into at the reception. My shoes were comfy until about 10:30, 11pm but then they were killing my feet and I was just really uncomfortable.

– This is a little regret–I wish I had spent more time going around to the tables. II was determined to dance my butt off and I did, after going around to the tables quickly during dinner but I kind of think maybe I should have spent more time with H saying hello to everyone while they were eating.

– I wish I had taken home leftover cake!!! No one took home any and they probably threw it away 🙁

– I wish my mom had been there when I put my dress on, although at the time the room felt crowded enough.

Whew, I think that’s it…I feel strangely so much better after writing all of those out!

Post # 93
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Not a big list because we eloped but..

-I wish we had our photographer for longer and/or had two shooters.  I have absolutely no pictures of me getting ready or of just my dress, shoes, rings, etc., and none of my fiance getting ready, either.  I think photography is SO important so I wish we’d over done it instead of cutting it so close. 

-Because we had a destination wedding, I had my hair/makeup trial the day before the ceremony.  I didn’t love any of it, but where the heck was I going to find someone with less than 24 hours notice?  I stuck with her and was pretty meh about my whole look (my hair and eyelashes fell out before the night was over, sigh).  I just don’t think she was a very skillful hair/makeup artist (I’d had my makeup done professionally for my engagement shoot earlier in the week and that artist was effing AMAZING so it was fresh in my mind what a good artist can do).  Also, whatever makeup she used gave me an allergic reaction which left my face itchy and red through half my honeymoon, which was not fun.

-And not that I could’ve anticipated this but I lost my bouquet at one of the bridges where we were having our photos taken, BEFORE the ceremony.  I didn’t even realize it until we arrived at the venue, ready to walk down the aisle.  My wedding planner scrambled to find me something — anything — to hold.  I ended up carrying a bunch of, like, green stemmy things that sort of resembled weeds.

 

Post # 94
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Biggest regret was that I let the wedding co-ordinator at our venue talk me out of making the room smaller.  By 9pm about 3 of our 10 tables left (due to kids) and the room looked way to empty for our 80 guests (when the room can fit over 300).

Post # 95
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh, and I wish I’d taken more care to sit/ride in the limo without wrinkling the back of my gown. In some of the photos, it looks like I slept in it 🙁

Post # 96
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Two regrets…

-I wish I had been more OCD on my instructions/labeling for the caterers…while I did leave instructions on all my projects, they didnt even put out the handmade placecards (cut out of tree branches) that I had made for each guest…not a killer, but I spent many many hours working on them for nothing.

-I wish I had not invited all my hubby’s family to use the hair/makeup girls…3 of his family members showed up with LICE and they were all right before me on getting hair done…we ended up wasting an hour disinfecting my mom’s house. it was awful. then i only had about 2 minutes to get my dress on and rush out for pictures. my “nice gesture” robbed me of my scheduled 1 hour get ready time, so i don’t feel like i looked my best and i was itching my head thinking i had lice all night (i didnt get it, but geeeeez!!!)

other than that, best day ever!

Post # 97
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wish we had used nicer Thank You cards. I was in such a cheapo mode after the wedding I bought the least expensive ones I could find which were really ugly. I immediately regretted it when I started writing them, but I felt like it was too late. It’s never too late!! Go onto Etsy and buy beautiful fabulous custom designed Thank You notes everyone!!!

Post # 98
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@ Mrs.Alias: that’s a good one! I used pretty ugly Thank You cards too (was focused on writing nice notes and getting them out quickly), but I wish I gave it a little more care.

I thought of one other (small) thing: I wish I called the hotel on the morning of my wedding (or stopped by the day before) to give them my credit card info and permission to let my BMs into my room. I’d rented a bridal suite, in part so we could have a spacious place to do hair, makeup and get dressed. But we wound up packed into a much smaller room because the hotel wouldn’t let my BMs into the bridal suite until I arrived, by which time it was too late to move everything to the bridal suite.

It’s those kinds of small details that would have made the day a little nicer and less stressful but would never in a million years have occured to me beforehand.

Post # 99
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I got married 10-9-10. Here are my regrets..i hate thinking about them. but maybe this will help one future bride and then it will be worth thinking about all the bad things…. 

1. not getting formals with the Groomsmen, and Groom not getting formals with my Bridesmaids (i never thought of it until days later on our honeymoon!)

2. BIG, BIG regret, going through vendors that we “knew” that over promised and under delivered. We knew our caterer and my florist is my in-laws next door neighbor. These are the ONLY 2 vendors I had a problem with on my day, even though I thought they would be the vendors I had to worry about least. Take it from me, weddings are a BUSINESS TRANSACTION and should be treated as such. Now I want to spread bad word of mouth all over town but I cant because I have to still see the damn florists when we have bbq’s at the inlaws! ugh!

3. BIG WASTE OF TIME: “photo cards” (I made them cheaply off of vistaprint but spent hours deciding on a design. needless to say ONE person posted on it and it was my bridesmaid who isnt ON facebook. The original idea was to make people put them on a site other than facebook, so everyone and their mama wouldnt see my wedding photos. I just wanted it to be more personal.) Dont waste your time or your $10

4. Not having a guest book. I opted for postcards (vistaprint) that people could sign and write their wedding wishes, so I could later scrapbook them. Um, we had like 7 people sign them out of 150. And out of that half didnt even sign their name so we dont know who wrote what. maybe if I would have had a sign to specifcially make people know what to do, or had them at each table instead?

5. I wish I would have hired a DOC. I was stressed out about my timeline and my venue came with a coordinator, but she did not come thru and do a good job and was nowhere to be found for half the night. So I kept thinking what was next on the list of the night (ie first dance, ie speeches, etc.)

6. not taking more PICTURES with family and friends. I have absolutely NO pictures with any of my wedding party other than the professional ones that is probably my biggest regret :o( and I spent the entire night on the dance floor and therefore barely talked to ANY guests other than when we made our rounds at the table. I feel like I didnt talk to anyone from out of town which sucks and barely took any pics with extended family :o((( This makes my heart hurt and my aunt wanted a picture of all of my dads side of the family and I completely forgot and nobody took control to round up everyone so no shots of the entire family, or cousins, etc.

7. I was sort of peeved that almost half the guests spent their time PUTSIDE the venue smoking and in the courtyard. I swear after the ceremony my Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs scattered about with their boyfriends and left me for the entire night, with the exception of a few dances..why the hell didnt they check up on me or ask me if I needed anything?? Why didnt they take any pictures with me, the BRIDE , with their cameras? Grr. Now I am kind of mad! I always go up to the bride at weddings and get a pic with her. I dont have many pics to look at besides my professional ones now :o(

8. My hubby and I felt pulled in many diff directions so I wish we would have designated our best man and Maid/Matron of Honor to like help and assist more and watch over us to make sure we ate, drank, talked, mingled. etc.

 

BRIDES! Mingle, laugh, smile, dance, eat, drink and BE MERRY on your day!!  

Post # 100
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My wedding day was awesome!  My biggest regret was the rain that forced us to be inside for the ceremony and cocktail hour (nothing you can do about that), and next is missing out on some pictures – seems like this happened to a lot of other brides too, so at least I don’t feel as bad!  I would suggest that brides really do make a detailed shot list for their photographer – I assumed he would take what I thought would be standard pics.  You are dealing with so many emotions and other things the day of it didn’t occur to me to ask him for anything specific!

– Not getting me with the Groomsmen, or the Groom with the BMs

– Not getting any bridal party pics outside (but that was due to rain), and overall just not getting enough different pics of the bridal party

– Groom was so worried about people not being there on time so he had the buses show up way too early, which also cut into picture time

– Not bringing a nice hanger for dress pics

– I didn’t explicitly tell the coordinator there would be a sheet cake – it never got served!

– The band played more of the slow dance songs during dinner, I should have asked them to intersperse them more so that the older people, and people who only dance with their SO, would be on the dance floor more

– I was a little disappointed more people weren’t dancing, but our space was big and we only had 107 people show up. 

– Totally didn’t think about a “thank-you” speech

– But overall it was a fabulous day!

Post # 101
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ah…I was supposed to have passed strawberry bellini’s during cocktail hour.  Somehow the updated drink list did not make it’s way to the bartenders and there were no passed drinks.  No one knew any differently, and I didn’t even know until midway through the reception, but it still irritates me.  I went up to the bar to see my cute chalkboards hastily erased and written on with the wines and beers different from what I requested.  Not a big deal, but it still just bugs me a little.  Also, I’m still convinced that some of my flowers were peach, when I specifically stated I can’t stand peach flowers.  The flowers were fantastic, but it’s just one of those little things that is still bugging me!  After the ceremony my husband and I were supposed to go out and immediately start pictures, but somehow the entire church seemed to run out to see us and we had an impromptu receiving line and I was a little flustered.  I barely had a minute alone with my husband. I know, I have a lifetime with him, so I guess I should just get over it!  HAHA!  🙂

Post # 102
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I regret drinking too much. I wasn’t sloppy drunk but the combo of everything going by so fast and the alcohol I don’t remember really important things…like I was so excited for the candle walk as mr and me hubby walked to the limo and I don’t remember any of it! At first I was really upset the next day BC I thought it didn’t happen and it turns out it did and it was great! Wish I could remember…

Post # 103
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m glad I found this post because these have been eating me up inside.  Here they are:

1.  I wish I would have interviewed more florists & DOCs.  Both ended up being fine, but not perfect.  I think they both had so much going on that I never felt like my wedding was at any point their #1 priority.  hindsight is 20/20, but I should’ve put more thought into it than going with the first ones I liked.  I should’ve put more into the contracts too.  My florist used orchids.  I specifically said no orchids.  I only gave him two restrictions.  That was one of them.  FAIL.

2.  I wish I had more pictures of the groom before the ceremony.  My flowers were late so the photographer was late going from my location to the grooms and then there wasn’t enough time for all the pictures.  Same for after the ceremony. Not enough time and we still missed the entire cocktail hour.  I wanted my mini crab cakes damnit!  lol

3.  I blanked during the thank you speech and just kind of winged it.  Didn’t really thank specific people.  I was just so happy & excited I forgot.  FAIL.

4.  I wish I would have spent more time talking with everyone.  I definately said hi to everyone there, BUT, I was so set on dancing at my own wedding that I feel like I didn’t spend ENOUGH time going around to everyone. 

5.  That glass of champagne at the end of the night was a bad idea.  I wasn’t drunk, but I didn’t feel great the next day at all.  Should’ve opted for water instead.

feels good to write that all down!

Post # 104
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i regret:

– forgetting to bring a picture from my hair trial the morning of, to the salon.  My hairdresser forgot what i had requested and what she’d done for the trial so i had to verbally explain it.  it looked nice but not quite what i had wanted.

– we regret forgetting to write our speeches!  we wrote them the night before our wedding and due to that, i totally forgot to thank one of my aunts. 

– we also regret not talking about where we would go after our ceremony.  like we had already done pictures and what not.  it was more like during the recessional where were we going to walk to.  i wanted to head to the cocktail room and have everyone follow, hubby thought we were gonna go upstairs to the bridal suite.  Since we hadn’t talked about this or told others where to go, we went into the cocktail room so everyone would know to go there also. versus following us to the bridal room!

Post # 104
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015
  • I wouldn’t have asked my sisters to be bridesmaids. I had this idea in my head that they’d be excited (which they were) and supportive (which they weren’t!) They turned up and then kept disappearing. I thought it’d make us closer, but they just stressed me out and made me feel like they didn’t care about me on my wedding day. Wish I’d asked the 2 friends who supported me unconditionally simply because I asked. (One I did, one I didn’t in the end… would have saved me so much money and stressed!)

 

  • I wouldn’t have ordered so much food – we wasted a third of our catering budget (£600!) on food that didn’t get eaten. Not everyone showed and there was absolutely loads (buffet reception!) Could have saved a fortune!
  • We also asked our friends to make our wedding cake far too big… we ended up throwing 2/3rds of it away, even though it was the most gorgeous looking cake ever (Lion King design!) Broke my heart to have to throw it away!

 

  • There were far too many people at my wedding. (120) I wish we’d gone for a cheap limited number package of 40 odd, just so I could have spoken to everyone on the day.

We invited some people we hadn’t seen for years and yet I don’t think I spoke to 10 people the entire day, especially not my FI’s family and that makes me so sad and makes me feel rude, it was far too big for me!

 

  • Our DJ was also rubbish. He was supplied by the hotel – we gave him a list of 20ish sngs and I think he played 4, I was gutted. His excuse was he didn’t want to play them too early, but our guests were disappearing early (making me paranoid it was because the atmosphere was rubbish!) and I was so exhausted and overwhelmed that Fiance are were in bed by 11:30PM!

I wish we’d gone for an iPod playlist with music we liked. I was worried there’d be no atmosphere, but the guy we paid added nothing to the night anyway and he was supposed to be a pro!

 

Post # 105
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
Chillmer:  Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry that happened to you, I would have been mortified. 

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