Married Bees – What aspect of your wedding do you wish you could redo and why?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
4597 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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chillbee29 :  I wish I hadn’t involved my mum and family so much. She is crazy ans no matter what I did it wasn’t enough. I reluctantly agreed to stay with her and my family the night before in spite of my parents having an extremely difficult and fractures relationship. My brothers and their wives had a huge row (couple against couple) and I cried myself to sleep.

Advice? You do you.

Post # 3
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I would have not used any friends of my parents or sister for anything, not even so much as a recomendation. I used my mom’s friend’s sister’s catering company that I would never have gone with because they were out of my price range and at the time I set it up I had just had a long standing grant not get renewed so I was concerned about cash a lot. I got pressured into going over there to see if they could work something out. Their solution that they came up with was that I would procure the meat and her sister would cook it and bring it down and my sister’s friends who work as waitresses would serve the food. I thought this was a lot to ask but they assured me it would be fine. Closer to the day I started to worry about it and was in a better financial place so I hired on one of the catering company’s people and we decided they would handle the meat after all, so basically we’re at normal except that I have 2 extra servers. This should have been plenty of staff for a 35 person wedding where wine and water were to be put out on the table and only one course was served. All they had to do was put out drinks once, plate and put food on the table, bus the tables and fold up the chairs at some point after dinner. There weren’t even dishes becasue everything was disposable. This particular guy was an absolute jerk and decided to change it to a buffet (after arriving late and not having put out any of the appetizers or bread or anything that was all in the kitchen at the venue). It was a mess. I ended up running back and forth getting water wine and champagne on the tables as they all just stood there after he basically told me to piss off when I was like “hey we’re all out here you can bring the drinks and serve dinner in about 5 minutes.” So yea I paid him and them a full rate to do nothing but stand there and my mom insisted I tip them well on top of it. They didn’t clean up a thing either. So my dad and brothers had to clean up after when I had paid people to do it, they wouldn’t let me help because it was my wedding day but I was so mortified.  

Post # 4
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I wish I hadn’t stressed so much over some little, ultimately inconsequential, decisions. I wish I had done a receiving line and had mingled instead of just sitting at a table with DH’s former roommate when he “disappeared” (was with some guy friends). 

My advice would be to remember that it’s one day, and the most important thing is that you’re getting married to someone you love. If you can prioritize that, the rest can fade a little. I would also advise to be sure to spend a good bit of time with guests, because your spouse will be leaving with you, while the guests go back home. 

Post # 5
Member
292 posts
Helper bee

My hair – I wish I listened to everyone that said do a hair trial – YOU WERE ALL CORRECT lol

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would have taken the time to stuff my face with all the delicious food we spent a fortune on but then barely got to eat! In all seriousness though, remember to eat, because you will be busy, you will have a thousand things to do, everyone will want to talk to you, and it’s so easy to not eat enough (all day, not just at the reception) and if you forget like we did, you will end up cranky like we did!

Post # 9
Member
292 posts
Helper bee

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chillbee29 :  The salon I went to turned out to not be specialized in bridal up-dos at all. Even though they said they were. I asked for a big up-do & showed them pictures. The lady made my hair SUPER flat, while the owner of the salon kept rushing her, so I left as quick as I could to go and re-do it at home. Even though I haven’t done an up-do in over 10 years I was still able to make a bigger and curlier up-do than she did. My hair is thin so it was a bit of a challenge but all it needed with the right amount of hairspray, curling & pinning. Anyways, it was an incredibly stressful situation! 

Post # 10
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

1. Provided a map of the venue so they knew where to park and where the ceremony was. I stupidly assumed the venue would have signs (they told us they would), but we started 30 minutes late because everyone was driving around the lot in circles trying to find the ceremony!

2. The colored dots for the catering I put on the back of the place cards were too hard to see, so rather than checking them, the waiters just asked each person what they ordered. Well, some people must have “changed their minds” because the last table didn’t get the food they ordered. When they said they ordered steak, the response was we were out of steak! So some people who ordered chicken must have changed their minds.. ugh. 

3. Involved my SIL more, but she was icing me out and I really had no choice at the time. Our relationship is much better now but at the time we weren’t even positive if she would come. Nothing more I could have done then since she was the one icing me out, except not let it stress me out so much! I let the drama consumed me. 

4. Payed for the extra hour of the reception up front. A week before the wedding, they asked if I wanted to extend an hour for $1000 and I said it was not needed. That night, NO ONE was ready for it to end and we got an offer to extend it an hour now for $3000 so we had to turn it down. Should have paid the $1000 up front because the extra hour would have been awesome. 

Post # 11
Member
1507 posts
Bumble bee

1. Done a makeup trial. It ended up being a little different than I was hoping for. 

2. I wish I would have done more looking at photographers before booking. I love my photos, but I would have changed a few things about who I used if I had to do it over again. I’m really upset that I only have 1 posed photo of my BMs and I once we were all dress. But I have a million and 1 unnecessary getting ready photos. 

3. My biggest regret was asking my husbands brother to perform our ceremony. We agreed on a script, and he went completely A-wall, super religious, call to the altar. I still haven’t quite gotten over it, as it was so inappropriate and not at all what we discussed agreed on. I haven’t watched our wedding video in full yet because of this. We should have just used a professional who knows how to stick to the plan.

Post # 12
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Take pictures with and talk to every group! My family friends hogged me and my photograher so I didn’t get the chance to take pictures with everyone. There are pictures *of* them only. 🙁 

Post # 13
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Get a new videographer.  He was so bad and it still makes my blood boil. 

That was it. Other than that, our wedding was perfect 

Post # 14
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Nothing we personally could have done, but the food came out an hour late so I was upset for our guests because of that. Oh and there was one photo I wanted that the photographer couldn’t get because we “ran out of time” but at that point in the day I was so exhausted I didn’t have it in me to fight. Otherwise everything was perfect!

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