Post # 1
My fiance and I are just swimming in a sea of potential wedding ideas and we keep finding ourselves coming back to possibly just wanting to do something small with parents, grandparents, and siblings (which will still be about 25 people including us).
I don’t want to regret not having a larger wedding (with a cut down guest list we could pull off 105 people, full list would be closer to 200), but every time we hash out a larger idea there end up being so many things that seem like they would become stressful and/or excessively dramatic. A lot of people I know who have gotten married in the past few years have said that if they could do their large wedding over again they would have eloped or done something much smaller.
So I figured I would ask, if you had a small wedding did you regret anything about it, or if you had a big wedding would you have done it smaller if you could go back? Just curious for some insight
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Dh & I went to the courthouse & I wish we did something bigger! :/ Not in the 100s but maybe at least 50 ish or so, mainly family. I just have so many ideas, & we didn’t take professional pics, or anything so it felt like just another occasion. Don’t get me wrong, I know the wedding is nothing compared to being married, but dh & I are already anxiously waiting for a milestone anniversary to redo it 😛
Post # 3
We had a medium-sized wedding, of about 100 people total. For us it was the perfect amount. Any more and I would have been overwhelmed, any less and we would have felt like we left people out.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Orchid71: I have been married twice. The first wedding was around 50 guests and I thought it was perfect enough that my second wedding was also around 50 guests. It’s enough for a party but not so many that I felt overwhelmed by the number of guests or the logistics with planning the wedding. A 100+ guest wedding would have been a nightmare because I hate large crowds of people, even people I know.
Post # 5
I had about 50-70 guests at our wedding, and I wish it had been smaller. In fact, I wish I would have eloped. I am not unhappy with the actual wedding day–that part was perfect– it was the shit leading up to the wedding that I wish could have been avoided.
People become posessed! Hopefully you will never experience what I mean.
Post # 6
We had about 50 guests – family and closest friends. It was perfect 🙂
Post # 7
We had 90 people and it was perfect
Post # 8
I absolutely loved our big wedding, but looking back, I do wish we hadn’t done it. We wanted a small wedding with just the people we consider close, which would’ve been around 50 tops. Instead, we ended up having a full shebang with 150 people, because my in laws threatened to not come to the wedding if they couldn’t have it that way.
If we got married tomorrow, I would keep the ceremony the same as what we did originally, but have a stand up/cocktail/picnic style reception. Something where we can walk around and mingle easily, and everyone else does the same.
ETA: Also, I look back now and can’t believe how much money we spent. That could’ve gone into the mortgage, or sent us on a fantastic long holiday. We didn’t get into debt to have our wedding, but it just seems like such a large and unncessary expense looking back.
Post # 9
We had a very small wedding and it was perfect for us all. It was a very beautiful and intimate day. The one thing I would say is super important (for memory’s sake) is that you splurge on an amazing photographer. That is my one regret. Our photographer was someone who is the daughter of a friend of the family. She was “given” to us as a wedding present. She took some okay pics, but they all look so amature and just…not how I would have wanted to really capture our day. It’s sad that we can’t go back and fix that so that we have some truly magical pictures to look back on. I feel disappointed with almost every single pic we have from our day. Don’t do that to yourself!!!
Post # 10
atreyu547: I am definitely like you with the ideas thing! FI is turning 30 soon and I am dying to plan a party for him! I am definitely putting a photographer at the top of the list no matter what we end up doing for the wedding. Thanks for the response
Post # 11
I think 40-50 people would be a nice group and I’ve been trying to see if there is a fair way to cut the list further but FI has a huge close knit family so we’d be making cuts within the same tier of relation and we both worry about causing drama. Did you have any family members who were extremely hurt if you had to cut them?
Post # 12
StuporDuck: Haha, I am waiting for the posessions to begin…every time someone asks me if we’ve set a date or picked a place/time of year, etc. I start waiting for the evil to come out. So far because I have no answer for them they just start pushing their own agendas a little bit and move on.
Post # 13
We had the perfect sized wedding but bear in mind we are in the UK where some things are customarily different! Like having a smaller wedding but bigger evening celebration.
So our ceremony was relatively small and intimate – our venue had a capacity of 40 and so we had VERY close family only at this because we were not prepared to choose one friend over another. Now this was still 25 people but each but each every one of them were our nearest and dearest. In the evening we hosted a cake and open bar celebration to which at least 200 people came. The whole day and evening was covered by a superb photographer.
Again speaking personally, we wanted a day and evening of love and laughter that reflected us. Because we do not have family drama or parents that could wade in with their expectations, we did not have to compromise on this. I realise how lucky we are though but being older and having been married before made it much easier to have the wedding that was perfect for us.
I think that any wedding plans that starts to be owned by anyone else have the potential to deliver a disappointing day or at least a wedding day that you wish could have been different. So act on your instincts too. If you aren’t comfortable with a huge wedding then plan something smaller. But try not to be forced into accepting someone else’s idea of what your wedding should be like. Equally, don’t feel obliged to elope if what you really want is something smaller than hundreds of people but bigger than 2!
Post # 14
Orchid71: We invited nearly 180; however, since so many were WAY out of town, the total count was right at 100. It was perfect. Although some aspects of planning were stressful, ultimately I’m so glad we had our “big” wedding. DH is from Ohio, I’m from Florida, we have friends all over the country, and this is one time we had them all together. That was priceless, and worth all of the planning stress!
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Orchid71: None that I’m aware of but we both have pretty small families so the cuts were easy to make.