(Closed) Married bees who went all out for the big day….

posted 8 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Good question. Not married yet so I can’t help, but I’m looking forward to the answers!

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Are you normally a very frugal person? if so…you may have trouble sparing no expense! Oh, the guilt, lol.

Also….i think it kinda depends and I MAY get flamed for this. Personally, i have a harder time spending my own money than someone else’s. If a bride’s parent spares no expense, she may not feel “as” guilty as if she is spending her own money. Personal opinion…i know when my dad offers to buy me dinner, I have NO qualms about ordering a 12 oz filet mignon. But i RARELY treat myself to such a dish.

Post # 5
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@ejs4y8: I think that’s a good point—totally depends on where the money comes from!

Post # 6
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I actually felt a little more guilty because it was my parents money.  I earn my money, so I don’t feel bad about spending it how I want.  My wedding was pretty high end.. just over $30k for 150 people and my parents covered the whole cost.  It was a beautiful wedding, perfect for us, and the happiest day of my life.  Going into it, I felt a little bad about how much my parents had spent on one day to celebrate me.  But during our first dance my dad told me he didn’t spend a single penny that he wasn’t comfortably spending (and he’s a pretty frugal guy).. so after that I didn’t let it worry me one bit.

Post # 7
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@ejs4y8: Haha, for me it’s the exact opposite. I was able to make all the choices I want for the wedding because I footed the bill myself, with a little contribution from Fiance and my dad. My attitude was that “it’s my money, my savings, I’ve worked hard for it, now I’ll spend it on whatever I want”. I never would’ve bought three dresses otherwise 🙂

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ok so maybe it’s just me….i guess it depends on far too many factors to make that broad of an assumption  =]. My dad retired in his 40’s so I know he’s not exactly hurting if i order a nice dinner as long as I say thank you and clean my plate =] But, i always felt WAY guilty taking money from my mom because she worked so hard and didn’t make a lot!!!

Post # 9
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@ejs4y8: um, im in the same boat. we aren’t married yet, but my parents gave us a HUGE chunk of change for the wedding and i’ve had no problem blowing through it fairly quickly (its all going to the reception) because they are pretty well off. now the rest of the stuff we are paying for (well, my fiance’s parents chipped in too actually), but i’m much more frugal with that money since it comes out of my pocket.

i know it kind of makes me sound like a spoiled brat, but i wanted to be honest.

Post # 10
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I feel like I went “all out” in some ways as I splurged on a having a full-time wedding planner, event stylist, and a few of those unecessary but oh-so-gorgeous extras (lighting, matching gold chivari chairs, upgraded linens and charger plates).  But at the same time, I don’t think of my wedding as one of those overly indulgent, over the top affairs.  There were just some areas I didn’t feel the need to spend as much as I could have–I had a DJ instead of a band, got a reasonably priced dress/veil/shoes, semi-DIY invitations. 

As for splurging on the “extras”…the details were so well done and everything was pulled together so elegantly with minimum stress or effort on my part.  So I don’t regret at all for spending a little more on the professional help and decor extras.   

(Oh I guess my one splurge regret was the top shelf liquor.  That ended up being unecessary.  I paid to upgrade to the premium brands and then all my guests got ended up happy drunk off the cheap stuff :o)

Post # 11
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My parents paid $25K and we paid about 10K. It was such a fun day i don’t think I would change a thing. that said it was just a standard hotel/dinner/dancing wedding. There was nothing over the top-we did spend a lot on photography, and flowers  but I think wedding in the city are generally expensive. i kind of wish i shelled out extra $$ for my dream dress, but I looked just as nice in the one I chose so I try to not think about that.

Post # 12
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We paid for our wedding ourselves and everything was about 12k.  Total for an intimate wedding and reception (about 30 people).  For us, going with an intimate wedding and reception made sense and allowed me to keep all my style too!

We have bills, a house, I’m a mom, and I wanted to have an intimate reception and wedding, as I’m an encore bride and huge fan of smaller weddings.  We could have afforded a more elaborate wedding, but we decided against it.

However, we were able to have everything we wanted and more for our big day!  By choosing an intimate wedding/familymoon followed by an intimate reception back home, we were able to give our guests an amazing dinner, any beverage they wished (including knock your socks off homemade sangria the reception venue made and top shelf drinks/liquor and beers) and flowers which were amazing!

For us, we were able to have the best of both worlds!  Amazing wedding, photos, honeymoon/familymoon, and reception!  And we spent about half of what the average wedding costs in my zip code too.

 

Post # 13
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We went “all out” for our wedding, but only on things that were important to us. We splurged on a really expensive photographer, venue, wedding coordinator, food, dress and things like that. Neither one of us cared much about flowers, for example, so we really shopped around to find the best price.

All in all we spent about $15,000 more than we intended to, but we don’t regret any of it. Our day was perfect! That said, we didn’t have to go into debt to splurge, so I do think a lot of it depends on where the money is coming from.

In hindsight, the only thing we would have changed was the string quartet we hired for the ceremony and cocktail hour. We could have had our dj play the instumental music for us down the aisle and I don’t think it would have made any difference.

Post # 14
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

After reading @DecemberBride ‘s post, I think my 2nd splurge ‘regret’ is also having the string quartet play for cocktail hour.  I think the music was nice touch for processional and ceremony, but cocktail hour was so busy I don’t think anyone would have noticed if they were there or if we just had a DJ play.  I certainly didn’t!

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