(Closed) Married Bees- why did you choose to have or not to have a first look?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Did you/will you have a first look?
    Yes : (47 votes)
    44 %
    No : (55 votes)
    51 %
    Maybe : (6 votes)
    6 %
    Other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    It was more my husband that was adimant that we not do the first look pictures – he was very set on seeing me the moment I was walking down the aisle, on my way to become his wife. During the reception, a lot of our pictures took FOREVER, and having done a first look would have saved us some of that time. Having said that, my husband still says he doesn’t care, he would have done it the same way all over again. I will say, the picture my photographer captured of his face as he saw me coming down the aisle is so wonderful/meaningful to me. But in a sense you get that with the first look pictures too.

    One thing to consider I guess is that if you do the first look, it’s just you and your photographer, whereas if you wait till the ceremony, everyone is there to witness it. Neither are better than the other, so it’s really all personal preference, I think!

    Post # 5
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    1. We wanted to participate in cocktail hour.  (Well, we took some “private time” to be alone for about 15-20 minutes after the ceremony.)

    2. We aren’t superstitious, plus we already lived together so being “traditional” seemed a little silly under the circumstances.

    3. We wanted more time for photos, and this way we had a couple of hours before the ceremony to take them.

    I have no regrets about this decision.

    Post # 6
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    It’s all personal preference. 

    We did it because we felt like it was wrong to spend the day apart when the whole POINT of the day was us coming together. And he didn’t like the idea of so much pressure on him to have the “right” reaction when I came down the aisle. He’s not the most expressive of men, so he thought people would judge him. We had our moment alone, and it was awesome. No wedding party around, no parents, no one to distract us from the HUGE thing we were about to do. After the first look and all the pictures were done, we spent the rest of the afternoon/early evening before the ceremony hanging out with our wedding party and having fun. I was so calm and relaxed and not nervous because I had him by my side the whole time. It felt right to us. I see a lot of people complain that all first look photos look the same but…the photos aren’t for other people. They’re for US to remember the moment when we saw each other without hundreds of people judging our reactions. 

    Walking up the aisle was still emotional and amazing. I was walking to marry the man of my dreams, and that’s special no matter what you do in the hours leading up to that moment. 

    Wow, that turned into a novel. Anyway…either choice is the right choice as long as it’s what you both want. If you don’t feel comfortable with the idea, don’t do it! You should be happy with all aspects of the day. 

    And because you asked, this one is my favorite. I distinctly remember closing my eyes and thinking to myself “Don’t ever forget this feeling” – hopefully I won’t! 

    Post # 7
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We did do one and I would do it again in a second!

    We got all our pictures out of the way, so we could go right to the reception (which immediately followed the ceremony).  

    I loved seeing him beforehand.  It calmed both our nerves, and it was fun to hang out with our families, bridal party, etc before guests showed up.

    It was a great use of our time because we were both ready early anyway.

    It eliminated the ‘wait’ time guests have at the beginning of the reception, which I dislike as a guest (if there is no cocktail hour, anyway), and we didn’t want our guests to have that either.

    Post # 8
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We aren’t married yet but will absolutely be doing a first look.

    Here are our reasons:

    1) I think their is something romantic about seeing each other, in private, prior to the ceremony, away from prying eyes.

    2) A decreased chance of balling my eyes out as I walk down the isle if we’ve already seen each other

    3) We want to participate in cocktail hour…we are working super hard to pay for the wedding so it’s important that we participate in all parts of it

    4) By participating in cocktail hour, we can begin to greet people, which will free up time for us to eat and enjoy our reception

    5) The only reason the bride and groom used to wait to see each other until walking down the aisle was because most marriages were arranged and they didn’t want the bride/groom to run away if they didn’t like what they see. Clearly, I don’t care about that tradition.

    Post # 9
    3758 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I was kind of wanted to because I wanted to be sure we got pictures together but Darling Husband did not want it so we didn’t do a first look. That is definitely something I don’t regret, seeing my husband at the end of the aisle for the first time was one of my favorite parts of the wedding 🙂

    Post # 10
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Our ceremony/reception was in one location and our timeline was really tight so a first look was the only way to get all the pics I wanted. Darling Husband and I also wanted to go to cocktail hour (still managed to miss half of it). Darling Husband was the one who brought it up after his best friend did it so we were always on the same page. 

    Post # 12
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We did a first look for many reasons…

    • We wanted to enjoy our cocktail hour. We paid a lot of money for it and we didn’t want to miss it. Sorry but having a plate of cold apps brought out to us by the waitstaff just wasn’t going to cut it.
    • An hour wouldn’t have been enough time to get all of our pictures done.
    • We wanted to spend some time together on our wedding day. The reception flies by and it’ll be rare if you get to spend any time with your new husband beyond dinner and your dances. Having a first look gave us a few hours to spend time together and reflect on the day ahead.
    • I thought it would calm my nerves and I was right. It totally put me at ease.

    Post # 13
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I decided simply because our ceremony was scheduled so late in the day (4pm) and I didn’t want to wait until 4pm to see Darling Husband on our wedding day! And also because the reception was starting almost immediately after the ceremony, we needed the time before the ceremony to do pictures. I wouldn’t say our first look was as special as others have described theirs to be (though we still got great pics of it)… But I can say that the walk down the aisle was still incredibly amazing/special despite having done a first look. 

    Post # 15
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My husband was adamant that he not see me prior to me walking down the aisle and I was more then fine with that.  I was thrilled with the pictures and the sentiment in them!  

    It also worked out really well for us in that my hair/makeup artist was a no-show that morning and we ended up being very behind because of having to wing a plan B.  We wouldn’t have had the time for a first look!

    Post # 16
    23602 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We also wanted to participate in cocktail hour, and wanted to have plenty of time to get some great bride/groom shots in the hours before our 6pm ceremony!  DH resisted the first look for a while, but in the end, was so glad we did!

    The topic ‘Married Bees- why did you choose to have or not to have a first look?’ is closed to new replies.

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