(Closed) Married Bees with Small Weddings- Any Regrets?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 2
43 posts

I’m having a small wedding (VERY small – about 15 people, total) and as the day gets closer, the more i’m glad we chose this route. It’s been low stress and after meeting with our officiant and going over ceremony details, we realized how intimate and personal everything will be. I’m very much looking forward to it.

Larger weddings, of course, are meaningful and can be very romantic. I think it depends on the kind of couple you are.

Post # 3
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016 - The Burgundy Basin

I would reccomend looking for venues that fit your budget and can hold more people. We’re at a place right now (Upstate NY) where we’re having the wedding that we want, for under 10k, for 140 people. It took a bit of research but by paying for it ourselves, we still get exactly what we want. :]

Post # 4
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

loveisbrewing:  We originally planned a 100 person wedding and scrapped it all for a tiny 4 guest wedding on the beach in mexico. honestly, it was the best decision ever. Low stress, much lower costs, much more intimate… HOwever that is just our style, we had been living together for 5 years already, together for 8 so we really didn’t feel the need for a large wedding for any reason other than our for our families… 

Post # 5
6718 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

We invited somewhere in the neighborhood of 60-70 people and had just 38 including ourselves (due to location, it was expected).  I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Only one person at our wedding was a total stranger to both of us (an aunt’s boyfriend we didn’t know about), and it was really nice to be able to chat with everyone without feeling rushed about it or obligated.  If I were in your shoes, I’d just stick with the original plan.  I would resent being told who was going to be invited to my wedding when it should be our choice and not anyone else’s.  I’d feel guilty spending that money when it could go elsewhere – a significant monetary gift from my parents went straight to the bank to be used in home renovations and we didn’t touch it for our wedding.  Also my husband is quite the introvert and I’m not much better – we’re far more comfortanble in groups where we know everyone and it’s a lot less stressful.

BUT… that’s me, not you.  So you will have to decide whether you want total control, whether you want to know everyone there, whether the money would be better spent elsewhere, etc.

Post # 6
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

None at all! 14 people and even my mother, who likes big and flash, was totally won over despite mutterings before the event. 

Post # 7
376 posts
Helper bee

loveisbrewing:  has your family made comments that make it seem like they will be very demanding if they are paying for it, or is this just a potential concern you have? i’m asking because you may be surprised and find that they are willing to offer the money and pay for it with no strings attached! It’s worth having that talk with them to see what page they’re on and whether it’s worth it to let them pay for your wedding.  as my fiance and i are paying for everything ourselves and finding it a lot more expensive than we thought, i would be willing to take a few extra opinions if my family were willing/able to contribute 🙂

Post # 9
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Mine is in 8 days and 26 people including bride and groom. The closer it gets the more I wish i’d had even less people! I wont regret having a small wedding I think it helps to focus who is really important. 

Post # 10
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We had a small (<50) person wedding that we paid for ourselves and I regret nothing. it was beautiful and exactly what we wanted and we actually got to spend time with our guests. 

Post # 12
766 posts
Busy bee

loveisbrewing:  I would think about the people between 50 and 100.  How much would it mean to you for them to share in your day?  I thought I wanted a smaller wedding in theory, but the reality is, I’m close to my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and they are a LARGE crowd.  I don’t think the day would have been as special to me without them, and I know they would have been really hurt to have been excluded.  I think you can live without the bells and whistles that might have made for your “dream” wedding, but if there’s anything you might regret, it would be the people.

Post # 13
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

We had about 40 guests at our mountain cabin wedding. Our parents split the cost of the wedding, which was $3000 total ($1500 each). We loved everything about our wedding, and we’re so glad we kept it to a small amount of guests. So much less stress!

Post # 14
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

loveisbrewing:  Mine was 15 people and was the best wedding I’ve ever had. ;-P It felt like when we said our vows, our guests were right there. As opposed to being on an altar in front of an audience of 150. We were all just close in proximity and it made it feel very special that it was not just us in the moment.

Post # 15
1810 posts
Buzzing bee

Looks like our final headcount for our wedding in 3 weeks (eek!) will be 30. I don’t regret a thing so far. We have one maid of honor, one best man, and one flower girl. My Fiance was married before and they had a 200 person wedding. He hated it. He is a very social person and wasn’t able to talk to everyone. He doesn’t remember the day and felt there wasn’t anything truly meaningful about it.

My best friend (and maid of honor) also had a 200 person wedding. She said if she could do it over again, it would just be 30-50 people. She regrets spending so much time and money (which ended up being spread thin) on people she hasn’t seen very much or at all since!

But these are only a few examples. Perhaps you can meet somewhere in the middle. Two years is a long time and with half the money saved already, perhaps you can see where budgeting a few extra in savings each month will get you. Maybe make a list of those you would TRULY regret not having there and tally it up?

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