(Closed) Married before 30

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I totally felt that way. I nagged now Darling Husband constantly about getting engaged. Looking back, I feel horrible about it. Now I think to myself, why was I in such a rush to be married before 30? It’s just a number. Heck, most days I forget how old I actually am and have to do some quick math.

Post # 4
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I actually had to give my SO a reality check recently, because he told me he wanted to be married “well before” he was 30.  He’ll be 27 this summer, so unless he proposes like yesterday that isn’t happening.  We’ll both be under 30 when we get married, but that just happened to work out that way.  If I hadn’t met him for a few more years I’d be perfectly happy marrying him at any age.

Post # 6
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I originally wanted to be married before I was 30 and told my boyfriend at 28 that is what I wanted. Now I am 4 months off turning 30 and not engaged yet! But, I think everything has worked out the way it should – we have bought a house and are more financially secure. Age is just a number – its the timing that has to be right 🙂

Post # 7
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wanted to get married by 23, then 25, then 27….. looks like by 28 or 29. It happens when it happens.

Post # 8
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I wanted to be married by 30… it’s looking like I won’t even be married by 35. What I didn’t realize is that in order to get married by a certain age, someone has to actually want to marry you, and nobody has ever wanted to marry me. I sometimes wonder if I’m good enough for anyone to marry – if I wasn’t desirable enough for someone to marry me at 25, who the hell is going to want to marry me when I’m approaching 40? 🙁

Post # 9
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Fiberoptic:  Aw, don’t have that attitude. It will happen!

I’ll be 25 when we get married, but my SO will turn 30 exactly three months before. He said he wanted to have kids before he was 30, so I don’t think that’s going to happen, haha. I already have a daughter, so we could say he does, but not with his DNA. I think it’s more common now for people to get married after 30. It seems people are more financially stable and doing pretty well with their carreers by then. It’s whatever works for you!

Post # 10
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i get this, well my first goal was to marry at 25, but since that ship has long sailed i gave myself until age 30 to marry. im 28 now and ill be married at 30 for my May 2014 date, Fiance will be 29 then,  i wish it wouldve happened sooner. ive been with my guy since late 2007, i never thought id be waiting sooo long for him step up. nothing ever goes as planned, one thing i learned from this.

Post # 11
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

I turn 45 this summer, and I’ve never been married or even engaged.  Had some LTRs, but no proposals (got close once).

So it seems I’m just a perpetual Waiting Bee.  Still, when it does happen (I’m an eternal optimist too), I’ll enjoy it just as much as if I was 25 or 35 because it is a wonderful thing.

I hope everyone’s wishes come true.

By The Way, I read somewhere recently that 40 is the new 20, so I’ve still got plenty of time!

 

Post # 12
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would have loved to have been married by 30 but now I’m not that bothered, it really is just a number, I feel no different to how I did, I was engaged a few months before my 30th birthday and I will be 31 when we get married, 30 is just the new 20 ;)…. or that’s what I tell myself ha ha

Post # 13
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

stats wise ive never been fond of the ‘its just a number’ argument. i knew the older i get the less fertile and less likely i will marry. thats just a fact. men dont have these concerns which is why theyre not jumping at the chance to rush to the altar. their ‘ready’ clock is alot different than ours.

Post # 14
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I always wanted to be married between ages 25 and 28 (we’re on track, I’m 24) and then start having children in the 30-35 range. Then I met SO who is 10 years older than me. He wants to be finished having children by the time he is 40. So I basically HAVE to be married before I’m 30 in order to stick to his timeline for children.

Post # 15
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d never heard this “rule” before coming on WB. I guess it makes some sense with most people wanting kids.

I thought I’d never get married, and ended up marrying at 27, so I guess it worked itself out.

Post # 16
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

30 really is just a number. Why would you set yourself up for failure by choosing such an arbitrary goal? I think you need to shift your focus from “I want to get married before I am 30” to “I want to build a lasting, healthy, successful, respectful, fulfilling relationship with my partner that results in a lasting, healthy, successful, respectful, and fulfilling marriage when we are both ready for that step.” And if the truth is that your partner doesn’t share the goal of marriage with you, then you need to decide whether you can accept a happy but unmarried relationship, or whether you will never be happy without marriage. If it’s the latter situation, then move on and find the person who does share that goal with you. It’s not about turning 30; it’s about creating a relationship that meets your emotional needs, age be damned.

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