(Closed) Married brides: If you could do it over again…

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Would you have done a smaller wedding?
    Yes, I'd have gone with a more intimate wedding. : (3 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, I would have eloped or gone to the court house. : (2 votes)
    7 %
    No, I loved my wedding and planning it! : (17 votes)
    63 %
    I DID elope/go to the court house/had a small wedding. : (5 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I would have done the same thing…We had 93 people so it felt pretty intimate.  The only thing I definitely would have done is add a second photographer and add an hour onto the ceremony. And I would have gotten a different hair person.  But size was nice!

    Post # 4
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Planning was a HUGE stress for me, but in the end I loved my wedding.  There are little things I would change but overall I loved the feel of my wedding.  It was about 110 people and while not small it felt intimate and warm.  I wouldnt have wanted to elope because I wanted to spend the day with friends and family.

    Post # 5
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’d have kept it the same.

    Post # 6
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We had an ideal combination as far as I’m concerned, although it came about for bad reasons.  We live near Washington, DC.  However, as a same-sex couple, we needed to get married in Massachusetts.  And because of issues with the Massachusetts waiting period for a marriage license, we pretty much had to have our wedding on a weekday.

    We therefore decided to have the wedding itself with a very small guest list–only a dozen people close enough to us to be willing to come to Massachusetts on a Tuesday.  We took all of them out to lunch afterward.  With so few people, everyone was able to sit around one big table, and we got a chance to talk with everyone.

    We then had an at-home reception for about 60 people back in DC, with music, dancing, an open bar, and a DIY fauxtobooth.  So we got the intimate wedding, but also got the bigger party.

    Post # 7
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    lol we did it all.  We had a courthouse wedding to satisfy immigration and then had a small intimate wedding (with larger reception) to pull in both of our families and friends.  I loved planning it even though it stressed me out at times, and I miss the DIY projects now!

    Post # 8
    1569 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    Ours was already very intimate, and we had 50 guests. No way would I erase that for anything else. It was perfect.

    Post # 9
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We had an intimate wedding with 65 guests and I think that the size was perfect. It was large enough to fill the room, but we still had time to go around and talk to everyone. I would seriously not change a thing about our wedding. It was amazing.

    Post # 10
    459 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We did have a small wedding, of only 35, and I would not have done it any other way. Only people that we cared about were there and we had time to talk to everyone. And we were able to pay for it ourselves without breaking the bank.

    Post # 11
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Disclaimer: I am sure that there are bees out there who loved their big weddings, loved planning it, and would never change it. And the poll reflects that. And I KNOW there will be exceptions to what I’m about to say; this is strictly from my own experience.

    BUT in my unofficial mental tally, I have met far fewer brides (actually zero) who have had intimate weddings/elopements and regretted it than the number of brides who had large weddings and had regrets. That’s not to say those in the latter category hated their weddings, but more that a lot of them felt that for the amount of stress and time and work and money they put in, it didn’t stand up to the hype (which I stress isn’t them saying “it wasn’t worth it” per se, just that they could have done with less/smaller/easier). The brides I know who had simple and small weddings or eloped have never been anything but completely enthusiastic about their weddings.  

    Post # 12
    2465 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    we had about 150, and i absolutely LOVED it. planning wasn’t too stressful for us–we had great vendors we trusted, and minimal family drama. actually, i kinda regret it wasn’t bigger–we had invited about 215 and there were some people who rsvped no that really surprised us, and there are i’d say about 2 dozen more people i wish i could have invited too but was afraid too many would come  (max venue capacity was 200). we were still able to talk to almost all our guests, though we had a rd and brunch the day after with out of towners, who were a huge proportion of guests, so that helped us make sure we got around. the only things i regret about our wedding are the tiny things no one notices but me (ie, timeline crunches before the ceremony that worked out totally fine but upped my stress level), and i’ll probably forget those in a few years anyway 😉

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