(Closed) Married bridesmaid???

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I guess traditionally they are single ladies, but not everyone follows them. Maybe if she really can’t include you in the wedding party, she can still include you in another way..?

Post # 4
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

It may be a cultural thing but I’ve never heard of that.  The Matron of Honor is usually married and thus the difference in name from Maid of Honor.  Really it doesn’t matter. You should include whoever you want to stand next to you the day of the wedding.

Post # 5
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

nobody really follows this anymore, but I”ve seen the trend followed in traditional Chinese weddings b/c it is bad luck to have married women in your bridal party. It just depends how strictly she chooses to follow this. After all, there are “bridesmatrons” and “matrons of honor” all the time now

Post # 6
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I dont think thats true but maybe its more of an old fashioned etiquette rule.  I was Maid/Matron of Honor (Matron of Honor) for my friends wedding last Saturday and I am in 2 more weddings this October as a bridesmaid and I am married.  There are several other married BM’s too. 

Post # 7
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I would totally not worry about it! One of my friends’ bridesmaids will be 7.5 months pregnant at her wedding! And married, obviously…Not a single person will even notice or comment that your bridesmaid is married, it’s totally common and the norm now!

Post # 8
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i’ve seen lots of married bridesmaids. my sil is in my wedding, obviously married.

Post # 9
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t worry about it.  I think this is an outdated rule.   When someday I am in my sister’s and hopefully friends’ weddings, I’ll be married since I’m the first of my friends to tie the knot.

Post # 10
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

You can be a bridesmatron or a matron of honor. It really doesn’t matter these days. My friend is having her mom as her matron of honor, and many of my other friends have had married brides”matrons”. No biggie!

Post # 11
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

To me, Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid are just outdated titles that we have kept around for convenience’s sake. A maiden is a virgin, and I am pretty sure none of my friends (we’re in our upper 20’s) are “maidens” anymore ^__~

Post # 12
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

The only place I ever heard of this was in the “Anne of Green Gables” series.  So I wouldn’t think it was a big deal.  I’m going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in April, exactly 9 months after my wedding!

Post # 13
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Buck the tradition. ALL of my “maids” will be married. I don’t care, and neither do they. Besdies, the only way anyone will know if your girls are married is if the DJ or MC announces them as Mrs. So-and-So, or if a guest knows their maiden name.

You can tell your friend that it’s an old tradition, however, it’s dangerous to assume you are in anyone’s wedding before they ask. My Maid/Matron of Honor has five sisters and I was the only very lucky person to stand up for her that wasn’t a sister. If she would have told me that she was only having her sister’s stand up, I would have been fine with it. And she’s my oldest friend.

Post # 14
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

My married Maid/Matron of Honor refuses to be a matron so she’s a maid.  Out of my 4 bridesmaids, 2 are married and one is engaged, so I’m definitely not following this old tradition! I’d say pick who you’re happy with!

Post # 15
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve never heard of this tradition before.  Two of my Bridesmaid or Best Man were married and it never crossed my mind not to have them because of that reason.  I think I’d just let her know that you’ve researched it and that married women can be a part of a wedding party and leave it at that.  If she wants to pick you, she can, but if she doesn’t, it won’t be too awkward.

Post # 16
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Oh wow! I’ve actually never heard of this “rule” although I can see how it’s rooted. Anyway, I think it’s definitely more important to have the most important people standing next to you on your wedding day, whether they’re married or not.

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