(Closed) Married bridesmaid???

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Both my ladies were married.  🙂  It was a tradition, but tbh I’d rather have the ladies that I’m closest to stand up for me then limit it to only those that are single….  lol

Post # 33
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve personally never heard of that rule before but even if I had, I wouldn’t abide by it. My bridesmaids are my 3 best friends. Both of my bridesmaids are married (my MOH isn’t). I think the concept of only having single bridesmaids is silly and extremely old fashioned. 

Post # 34
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I can’t see being married an issue! I just got married in Sept and will be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a girlfriend’s wedding this July. No biggie!

Post # 35
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee

It certainly was the unbreakable rule in the nineteenth and early-twentieth centuries. It’s a mainstream western custom, and applied to the grooms attendants as well as to the bride’s. Brides started flouting the rule, to my recollection, in the fifties and sixties.

As you can see from the number of people who have never heard of it, the rule is pretty much defunct. But you might want to consider the consequences of flouting it. When all wedding attendants are unmarried, there is no-one else to be considered when scheduling pre-wedding parties, deciding on your seating charts for the head table, and arranging cars and schedules for the wedding day. When you have married attendants then their spouses must always come first with them, and anything you schedule that conflicts with their spouses’ best interests will — or at least should — see them choosing their spouses’ interests over yours. Married people have more important claims on their money, too, than matching dresses and parties; and complications like pregnancies and children. If you choose adults with families as your attendants, then your plans will have to be adaptable around being thoughtful of those families.

Post # 36
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Haha some people are so old school but exclusive to the traditions.

 

Traditionally all the BMs are supposed to be single and so are the groomsmen. and the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen are supposed to wear the same thing or something very very similar to the bride and groom. You know why…cause the BM’s are there to confuse evil spirits so they wont take the bride (and maybe a Bridesmaid or Best Man instead) and Groomsmen so if something happens to the groom (like death) the Best Man will take his place and will be ready to go.

Unless your friends/family plans on making the BM’s of Groomsmen marry the bride or groom should something happen to them…i wouldnt be to worried about it (or atleast explain to her why she shouldnt follow this tradition!)

Post # 37
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Who cares if they are married or not? If they are maybe they can be more helpful and give more advice. My friend had her mother be her maid of honor and I’m having my brother be my man of honor. Do whatever feels right for you and don’t listen to some stuffy rules that somebody made up. It’s your day.

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