- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I just need to vent out so I can focus on my happiness on wedding planning. Long story…
I always look forward to have my own family. Have my own house, my own kitchen, furnitures, spaces and inviting family and friends over instead of always going over to friend and family home.
Well, reality is not quite the same or at least not right the way…and it just drives me nut sometimes… it’s like every time I saw a piece of furniture… FI told me to wait, or I’m in the mood of cleaning up the space so I can invite his/my friends over, he stopped me again because that will be too loud for his family….. ugh
Here is the baackground, FI and his brother supposed to own half of the house… .. it was only his mom and his brother on title for a very long time and the mother make it very clear that she wants to pass her half to FI… when all family members wondering how to approach the brother to make this official, his brother approached the mom and said he has trouble paying of the 200K home line…that he wants to sell the house. The FMIL wants to stay with us and kinda push us engaged faster than our original plan…and after extensive discussion between FMIL, FI and I, we decided that we will buy his brother’s portion and keep the house…(no, FMIL won’t tell the brother…for whatever odd reason, she doesn’t trust the brother and wife …… dunno why)
Here is the tricky part, the house itself has no mortgage left only that 200K home line the brother pulled out for his business that is obviously not making money. He has all his equipments store in the garage…. I asked my FI when is his brother moving out so we can buy out his portion… he said no clue and nobody in his family willing to ask that question. FI said he is guessing whenever his brother store lease is up which is approximately 6-9 months after our wedding but nobody know…
That just drive me crazy sometimes… first off, in order to buy his brother portion, we need to find an appraiser to appraise the house… we need to talk to the brother, but nope, they said hold it. I estimated it will be roughly 500K (the house currently worth 1M) .. that’s not a small number.. I think it’s fair for us to know how much and when, so we can prepare ourselves….
Ever since the brother approached the mom about selling the house, I have been collecting boxes for FI and his family, of course, I’m not going to tell them those boxes are for them to pack… but it’s there… I don’t see the SIL clean the house at all, it’s a 3800 sq ft house and there are LOTS OF JUNKS everywhere…. it will take time for them to pack and clean up… but nothing has started at all… I understand they has a little girl (she is 8) but……. still….
FMIL told us that we can live in the ground floor suite (about 750-800sq ft) after we got married… we are 7 months from our big day… his brother’s work stuff, his nieces’ toys, clothes, junks from the sisters who left there for 10 years.. still there… I constantly ask my FI when is he going to clean up the suite, where am I going to live afte we got married??? he said he will do it eventually…. but it’s hard because the kitchen area in that suite are full of fabric, boxes for his brother’s business…. And it’s not like they don’t know we are getting married soon.?!?!
For the most part, I’m very happy and look forward for the wedding and married life. I’m very clsoed to my own family and I would totally love to invite my family over to my “new home” … but now, I feel like I do not belong to this “new home” because it’s “his brother and his mom house”…we are adult for god sake and I’m big girl that have my own rental apartment.. I just hate it that I have to live like that….for god know how long… I just don’t understand why can’t the brother give them an ETA or why can’t FMIL or FI ask them?!?! Ain’t they family???