- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2010
Hello, bees. I stumbled upon the forum after a google search for advice on what to do with constant fighting with my husband. Before getting married in 2010, we dated for 4 years, and have lived together. Both of us have bad tempers, and are very stubborn. But with all that we love each other, and was always able to get over any fight or argument. Now, after our 2nd wedding anniversary it seems that we fight about everything and anything. The most recent example is when we went shopping and he wanted to go to every name brand store, to look for a purse for me. I had already expressed to him that I do not need a high end purse, and that I would fi d one on my own. To me, he just wanted to go look at what these stores had to offer, but for me, I felt like it was wasting my time, especially being irritated because I was starving. After going to the last store, he looked annoyed and I told him not to worry that I would find a purse. I told him to “calm down” because he looked angry, then he got all crazy on me…we ended up in the car, just yelling and fighting, that we do not understand each other. And saying that we are not sure if this marriage is going to work.
Sometimes, I feel like we fight because we both do not feel appreciated. I know, speaking for myself that I do feel like I am not good enough. I have a lot on my plate right now due to my mother being very ill, and from that Ive been on and off depressed.
For myself, I would like to work things out if it’s possible, but I’m not sure about my husband. Today, he is going out to dinner with a friend/colleague who Has been separated from his wife for a few months now. I wonder why he is going to meet this person. Is it to ask him for his advice… I guess only time will tell.
Another thing before ending is that my husband and I have no sex life. We have sex maybe once a month. It was never like this before marriage. The least amount of sex a week was 3. After getting married the sex became less and less. Some of the reasons of not having sex has been because we are too tired, or not in the mood. Recently, after a night out with his best friend he told him that he was having martial trouble. He told his friend that he was not attracted to me, and he himself did not feel attractive. We both have gained some weight after starting our relationship. I found this conversation out because his friend told him that he should discuss this with me, and that we should talk about it.
I wish there is something I can do that I haven’t done already to help this marriage. Of course it takes two of us to work it out. These days I feel like I am the only one wanting to even try and fix it. I feel like he just wants to give up. If that’s the case, I cannot do anything about it. I know in my heart, that I have tried and am willing ton try even harder….I think me feeling like this also makes me resent him for being so weak and not manning up.