(Closed) Married Ladies… Did anyone just not bother changing their last name?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 31
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Well there’s no law that says you HAVE to do it; it’s just a social norm. I actually thought about hyphonating my name at first but then decided just to take my fiance’s name. WAY too many syllables involved.

Post # 32
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Looking back now, I wish I had just kept my maiden name for legal purposes and go by married name, socially. It was a hassle with changing my name on everything…credit cards, banks, license, SS, house loan, insurance, notary, passport, etc….in my opinion, it wasn’t worth all the hassle. Every company wanted something different for documentation on changing my name and it became frustrating at times. My DH didn’t care either way, but I did it because I felt it was the “right” thing to do. Looking back, I wouldn’t have bothered with it and just kept my maiden name. 

Post # 33
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
anonybeez2011:  I put it off for 6 months and the actual changing with government/credit cards/banks was a breeze but it seems like now it truly has been a pain. I think I’m now in limbo between maiden and married name at every single doctor office. The worst part is constantly getting bills for my medical stuff – I’m not sure why staff cannot seem to grasp the change. Anyways, other than the continued irritating limbo, I’m very happy I did it. We may not even have children but It was important to me to have his last name:) it’s never too late! (To be annoyed… Lol)

Post # 34
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have been lazy and not changed it yet. We were married in August. I am only tacking his on the end of mine, so it won’t be completely changed anyways. I put his on mine for Facebook though. We have our passports expiring this year, so I should probably get to it. Seems like a good time!

Post # 35
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I’ve been dragging my heels through the name change process since I got married over 3 yrs ago. I had decided before we got married that I wanted to change it, but then every time a woman asked me if I was going to, they told me what a pain the process is. They were right. A year after I was married, I finally took the first step (in NJ) and went to the DMV and got a new license. About a year after that, I changed it at work (new ID, updating various directories), and I also updated financials including credit cards. I still have to do my passport, which I told myself I was going to go right when I got home from Mexico 3 weeks ago…tbc

not sure whether I would call any of it “worth it” but I certainly don’t have any regrets. 

Post # 36
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Update: After revisiting this board I’ve decided that I really like the idea of going by my fiance’s name socially and just keeping my maiden name on all my legal documents. It seems so much easier that way. 

Post # 37
Member
2021 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I had planned to change it, but I decided to avoid the faff and keep mine. Just bc I dont care that much. THis is easier and nobody cares one way or another.

Post # 38
Member
608 posts
Busy bee

It’s personally important to me to take my husbands name. Im not going to run out & do it the next day but after we come back from the honeymoon I’ll put it on my to do list. His father died & his mom re-married and changed her last name so its more like I’m taking his name & starting our own family then I’m taking his familys name you know? We are still in college so it really has no bearing on my professional life. And when we have kids I want our entire family to have one name. 

Post # 39
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee

I like the way my maiden name sounds better so I’m keeping it. I might change my mind when we have a kid, but I’m not sure. I might just stay this way forever. 

Post # 40
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

I want to just haven’t yet. I don’t have my birthcertificate or original social security card so I have to write a certified letter to the state of KS to get an official copy of my birth certificate in order to get a new social security card in my married name. Just haven’t done it yet, probably should though. I am still my maiden name on social media, but socially an known as Mrs his last name. He is very protective of his privacy and wary of social media so has asked that I not change my last name on FB. I’m ok with it. 

Post # 41
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
anonybeez2011:  No, I never really considered it. I added it on facebook, that’s enough

Post # 42
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I personally want to change my last name as I want to have the same last name as him and any future children.

However, I have a very boring/generic/common last name that my Grandparents were “advised” to change it to when they moved to America in order to seem more “American” – none of our family in their birth country have this last name – so I’m not super attached to it. Maybe I’d feel differently if I had my Grandparents original, more unique, last name though…

I also think my first name flows better with his last name than my own :-p

Post # 44
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I can’t wait to take his last name (no one pronounces mine correctly) so I will be doing it shortly after. But, something to think about for you and other already married brides is if and when you plan to have kids.

If you do not take his name, how do you decide which name do the kids get? And wouldn’t it be weird that your own children do not have the same last name as one of the parents? I think if you plan to have kids, that is when you should consider taking his name, in my opinion at least. If you don’t plan to have kids and love your maiden name, I say keep it AS LONG AS your husband is not hurt or disrespected by this action. 

Post # 45
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
anonybeez2011:  I feel the same way. I want to change my name, but in my job I’m known with MY last name. It’s on my cards, my office door….lol seems like a hassle. I get married in July but I don’t think I will do it right away lol

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