(Closed) Married ladies – what do you wish you'd known before getting your rings?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
4657 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

LOVE this thread!

My advice

1) If you’re in doubt between bigger and smaller stone sizes – GO BIGGER. Shrinkage does occur, true story.

2) Pave stones can be extremely frustrating and losing diamonds sucks. I am now a huge fan of solitaires with nice, solid bands that can’t lose stones from

3) Platinum all the way. I love the weight of the metal and the fact that it never needs re-plating.


Post # 4
764 posts
Busy bee

People will judge you for your ring. Be prepared if you have a really blingy ring.

Post # 5
484 posts
Helper bee

Go for comfort – my Fiance made a final decision on my ring because one of my best friends he brought along to help him said it was the most comfortable ring she’d ever put on her finger. I quietly thank her every day for that comment! 

Post # 6
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

My lesson is comfort is key! I originally wanted a dainty pave band (like 1.5mm) on my engagement ring but am really happy I went with a more solid plain 2mm white gold setting in the end as pave or prong set wasn’t as comfortable in my opinion and also requires more maintanence. I have also gone for a channel set wedding band (and a plain one to alternate with) as I don’t want it rubbing against my other fingers, nor do I want to worry about loosing diamonds.

I also agree on the diamond shrinkage one.

(BTW – not married yet but have been engaged for 1.5 years).

Post # 7
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I wish I’d known how gold can wear away. Both of ours are 14K yellow gold bands, about 6 and 7 mm, worn for twelve years. Repolished not more than once. Both have worn thinner in depth, his also in width in places, and enough to replace.

Post # 8
4657 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

People judge you either way – big or small. So try (yes it’s hard) to just pick what you like without thinking of the impact on others or what they might say.

Post # 9
365 posts
Helper bee

Ditto on comfort!  I wish I’d just gotten a plain band + an eternity ring.   Lots of versatility there.

Post # 10
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Invest in your wedding bands. We were spending so much on the wedding that we skimped a bit on the rings. I would have gotten a high quality 1ct eternity, but instead got two mall jewelery store quality .25 half eternities. Now I am looking at replacing them to match my new, high quality e-ring setting. I am not sure if I want to do this because my original rings are special to me. They were used at our ceremony and are obviously very sentimental. So choose your forever ring and spend a little more to get something you will love forever and will hold up well.



Post # 11
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Spend the money on good wedding rings before the wedding.  After you get a house, and have kids, there’s probably going to be a million other things more pressing than nice wedding rings.  So basically, get your “dream” ring while you can!

This may not be an issue for most women, but for some reason it is for me – I find wearing two rings (e-ring + wedding band) quite uncomfortable.  I’ve been married for almost 14 years and I keep trying to wear two rings together but after a few hours I wind up taking one of them off.  I may just have issues with my fingers though. Undecided

When I had my diamond reset last year, I went with beauty over practicality.  I had a soltaire + halo setting (so basically a halo with a plain shank) and the halo sat really high so that a wedding band would sit flush.  That setting drove me crazy!  I broke the prongs more than once and I banged my hand all the time with it!  I recently had the diamond reset back into my lower set 3 stone ring.

Many ladies don’t like channel set bands but I find them to be awesome!  I got a princess channel set band recently and that’s usually what I wear (I alternate between that and my 3 stone ring).  It’s so comfortable!  No prongs to get caught. It’s sleek looking.  So try different styles of bands on because you may be surprised with what you like.

Post # 12
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with some of the comments above.

I am SO glad that I chose platinum.  Also, as much as I am quite captivated by others’ beautiful, pave settings, one of my best friends has stones falling out of her e-ring setting on a fairly regular basis. She is always having to send it to the jeweler to have a stone replaced.

I chose a blingy, half-eternity wedding band, and I was told that the company that makes it, Memoire, is expert at making that setting and that the stones should not fall out. I’ve worn my wedding band for more than three and a half years now, and, thank God, I have had no problems.

Also, so many people say that they do not want a high setting for their e-rings; however, I love my cathedral-mounted setting, because it allows my wedding band to sit flush against it with no gap. (For those who love gaps, by all means, rock one; however, I like having my rings sit flush.)

The only second-guessing that I have done is wonder if I should have chosen the e-ring setting that would match my wedding band instead of my tapered-baguette setting. As much as I love the look of baguettes, when they are paired with the bling of my round, center diamond and all of the round diamonds in my e-ring, they simply do not sparkle in the same way. (They sparkle intensely when viewing them straight on from the sides of the cathedral mounting, but not when I look straight down at my hand.) Even still, if I had it to do over again, I may still pick the baguettes simply because I like the contrast. I’m not sure.

Post # 14
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Get an insurance plan if you have white gold or delicately set stones. It’s nice knowing you have somewhere to take it if it needs a little work done! 

Post # 15
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Go for comfort and something that works with your career and lifestyle.

This is especially true for the man, have him wear it around for a bit to make sure it is comfortable, or they won’t get worn.

Size seems like a big deal when you first get your rings, but overtime the sentiment is more important, when you wear the same ring everyday for 20 years it stops mattering if it was a huge diamond and the commitment is the focus.  And let me tell you it hurts to take them off.  You won’t ever get the money back that you spend so never think of them as an investment.

Upgrades may come or you may decide other things are more important.  Love what you are given and can afford and enjoy the process more than the bling.

I was married for 20 years, small diamond, but I loved it.  He cheated and our marriage ended.  It was hard to stop wearing my ring.  It was very freeing to finally sell it, even though I got hardly anything for it.

My new Fiance and I selected something we love together and that is what is most important, he likes my Ering as much as I do.  Yes it is bigger than my previous ring, and that is fun but wearing off.  I am much more interested in the depth and size of our relationship than the size of my diamond.  I feel a stronger committment to this man and it comes back to me the same, this will mean more than a diamond in the long run.

Not rings aren’t pretty and fun, you should enjoy that part too, just don’t let that be the most important thing.



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