(Closed) Married now for 8 mos

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah no one tells you during the hooplah that a marriage is work.  Maybe you two should consider counseling so you have someone to talk to and help with whatever problems you are having?

Post # 4
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Whats wrong?? 🙁

Post # 5
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry to hear that, however I think that’s to be expected. There’s a lot of build-up with a wedding and then you have the climax and after I imagine it’s a little like, ‘So… this is it?’ But you have a great life ahead of you two and now you can plan for other things – children (if you want them), setting up your home the way you want, focusing on career/school, etc.

Post # 6
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh nooo, I think being married is a million times better than planning a wedding. Are you guys just in a rut?

Post # 7
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LGenz: I agree with this.

But we did live together for a couple years before getting married, so not much changed after except no stress of planning.

And now you get to plan on the next big stage of your life, could be kids, buying a house, building up your career, whatever you choose. Maybe now you can just have time to do fun relaxing couple things.

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@JC151: what’s going on?

I’m in the exact opposite boat – I’d take marriage over wedding planning ANY DAY.  It’s sooo much less drama for me and a whole lot cheaper, too!  😉  

 …not to say that marriage isn’t all rainbows and puppies…. it takes work, intentiality, and self-sacrifice….  

Let us know how we can help!

Post # 9
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LGenz: totally agree, we’re going on 7 months and its been kickass so far!

 @JC151: What’s been going on?

Post # 10
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s harder than I even imagined, but completly worth it. Before we got married everyone told us how marriage is one of the hardest thing we will ever have to do. I never believed a word of it until we got married.

The way I look at it is that life is not going to be easy whether you are single or stay married so at least now you have someone to go through the ups and downs with.

Is there anything in particular? Or just the joining of two lives and traditions?

Post # 11
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@JC151: I agree 100%! Just take a deep breath and keep trying. Hope you can work things out and get through it.

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh wedding planning was exciting but also very stressful it was nice to not have to run ot michaels every week and hunt for deals, or spend hours hot glueing fans together… I do have moments when I miss my DIYs but being married is much more peaceful and relaxed than planning a wedding

Post # 13
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the ladies who said it’s way better, in my experience. I was so ready for it all to be over about 2 months before the wedding. Now that we’re both employed and the drama has gone down I’m happier than I have ever been in my life–just over 7 months married. (And we did not live together before marriage)

Are you not communicating? What’s the issue?

Post # 14
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We’re only 3 months in, and I have to agree with the PPs that being married is so much better than being engaged and planning a wedding. Yes, wedding planning was fun, and I’m already mentally scheming for a blowout 1st anniversary bash, but it’s nice to not be tied to the computer, dealing with vendors, etc. We have more time to just be together and enjoy each other’s company. 🙂 So OP, it doesn’t have to be like this. What’s up? 

Post # 15
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I will say that there was a lot more excitement and stuff to do in the planning stage. Also, we didn’t live together before we were married, so that was definitely an adjustment. But after several months, you get to know each other’s cleaning style, organization, pet peeves about the house, etc. I think our first few months of marriage were still a very happy time, but I feel our marriage is much stronger and we work much better as a team now that we’re 2 1/2 years in.

It’s an adjustment, but I promise there are better days ahead once you get past the initial adjustment stage!

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