Post # 32
I can’t imagine throwing away pictures! When I was younger, I loved looking through my mom’s old pictures, including ones of her highschool boyfriend.
You’ll cherish those pictures when you’re older and can look back on those times in your life. It’s not just about the guy you were with, it’s about you and your youth. I would hang on to them.
Post # 33
i am not a sentimental person so it’s not difficult for me to toss old stuff from exes. i sold all of my old jewellery and threw out all old pics. (the pics where i looked damn good, i cut him out. lol)
the only things i did keep are household items. example: a digital meat thermometer that i got in my stocking one christmas and i use it all of the time. not a romantic gift but practical.
Post # 34
I keep asking my mom to throw away my prom pictures. She refuses! I’m like…but he’s in there! Needless to say, once the relationship is over, all feeling/love/sentiment disappears. Sh:t is out the window for good. Presents too, I can buy my own stuff thank you very much.
I don’t need reminders of anything. It’s already in my head, it doesn’t need to be in my house too.
Post # 35
I still have a few things my ex got me. But my husband doesn’t know he got them for me – it’s just stuff. Anything romantic or that was sentimental I got rid of (like the roses he gave me on our first date – tossed, the stuffed animal has been destroyed by my mom’s dog). Returned the last birthday present he gave me and threw my promise ring back at him. 🙂 Pictures of us are still in some old albums, sure. I didn’t sort through everything and toss it – those trips still happened, he was a part of my life for 5 years! But whenever I come across something that looks too mushy, I toss it. I’m not going to erase 5 years of my life, but I don’t need reminders in my married life that there was someone else first.
Post # 36
Anything from my exes got tossed immediately after the breakup. What purpose do they serve?
Post # 37
@Sunshine09: It really depends no you and your guy. If I walked in on that, I wouldn’t be furious (you can see how that happened) but, like your husband, I would be bent out of shape. I guess you could try to weigh how much it hurts or bothers him for you to keep them against how much it would hurt or bother you to toss them. Though I really don’t understand what purpose it serves to keep stuff like that (unless the guy passed away or something). Hold onto the memories, let go of the guy, and let go of the stuff, is kind of how I see it.
Post # 38
I JUST went through this also! Fiance and I just moved in together and I couldn’t bring myself to throw out my 2 other serious relationship “boxes” of stuff. I have no romantic attachment to them, but like @ForeverBirds:
said, I always envisioned having a daughter and showing those notes and pictures to her and telling stories about my first boyfriends and what not. Also, one of those boyfriends was in my life all 4 years of high school, so its hard to cut him out of all those pictures when he was with me and my friends in them. It’s more of a sentimental nostaglic thing for me, it was my chilhood/adolescence.
As of now, those 2 boxes are still at my parents house. I have no problem getting rid of the kissing pictures bc I don’t need to see that. But somethings I still would like to keep.
Post # 39
ps- I would honestly demand that Fi got rid of any intimate photos- including kissing. Don’t fuck around with me, dude. How do you think me seeing that stuff makes me feel?
Post # 40
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
you burn it. or take it to the shreader.
Post # 41
I say throw it out. I would not want to find a picture of my fiance and his ex. When my fiance started dating, I kept one picture of my ex and I. I told him that I still had it, just for memory’s sake. One day, I was going through old stuff and I came across that picture. I started feeling immensely guilty, wondering how I would feel if my Fiance hung onto something like that. I threw it out, and I told Fiance about it later. He admitted to me that he was glad I got rid of it, and he always wondered why I kept it.
I don’t really see a reason to keep personal things like that….but that’s just me.
Post # 42
As other PP posted, I would only keep things that serve a purpose….tv, lamp, clothes etc. Sentimental stuff and kissy pics should go, IMO. The only sentimental stuff I’ve kept were broculhures and scenicnpics from vacations because I want to remember that I went there…..not about the guy so much.
Post # 43
Actually I’m different – the practical stuff was easy to get rid of – but the cards and love notes and pictures are the stuff I hung onto! Like many other PP’s I feel like I have these to remind me of how I got to where I am and honestly just looking at them sometimes reminds me of what a wonderful husband I have! I’ve kept for nostalgia I guess but also as good teaching tools!
Well anyway I understood why he was bothered, and I would have been for sure too if it was reversed. He also knows I hang onto things – all kinds of random things, pack rat style – whereas he is a minimalist. So we’re also different that way.
But I threw out the kissy pics and any other intimate kinds of things, really it was hight time anyway. I held on to some special stuff from my most serious boyfriends over the years – to show my kids – and the rest went out. It was very cleansing actually, and my DH is ok.
Post # 44
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Im with the throw it out camp. Throw it out, in my eyes doesnt mean youve forgotten but that youve moved on. You can most certainly remember things without having photos of it. To my mind, clinging to the photo when the person is gone is holding on to a little piece of the relatiionship.
Ex- husband with children involved is the exception. For their sake
Post # 45
I just don’t understand why you would want to keep it even after the break up–let alone now that you’re married. I can definitely see why your hubby would be bothered. If I were him, I’d wonder why you would hold on to the past if you’re happy on the present…
how would you feel if the held on to mementos from his exes?
Also, how would you feel if you had kids someday (assuming you want them) and they found the photos of you kissing someone who isn’t their dad? Even if it was before you met your hubby–your kids might have trouble understanding that (Or why you held onto it). Kids get into things…I know I found stuff of my parents they never wanted me to find.
Exes are exes for a reason. I recommend leaving the past where it belongs–in your rear view.
Post # 46
@Sunshine09: Absolutely. I was with my ex-FI for nearly 10 years and I have no traces of him left. I have moved on and I don’t need any connection to him. I did this well before I got engaged, let alone married. I would not like Fiance to have pictures of him kissing his ex. I would find it weird and feel there was still some attachment/pining away on his behalf.
ETA: no one can take your memories or the learning you have gathered from your exes, but I don’t know why you would need physical reminders of them. If I were your DH, I would wonder if you were truly happy with our present if you were still fussed over your past. I broke up with my ex-FI, took time to get over it fully (including throwing all his stuff, pictures, letters, etc. in the garbage where they belonged), and then started dating.