(Closed) Married now – Should I throw out stuff from old boyfriend(s)?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@mignonette:  He died.  Not the same.

Post # 63
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@mignonette: I get the impression that OP is still fairly young, so therefore she has experienced being “young and in love” with her husband. All I’m saying it that she shouldn’t need mementos from exes to remember what it was like to be in love when she’s older, as she surely has plenty of memories like that with her husband.

 

And I understand wanting to remember previous periods of your life. But surely most people have pictures and mementos from their past that have nothing to do with exes? So it’s still perfectly possible to remember what experiences shaped you and “where you came from” without keeping ex-related things.

Post # 65
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50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MaryKay14:  I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.  To each their own!  

 

OP:  Keep the stuff πŸ™‚ 

Post # 66
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442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Sunshine09:  35 is not old πŸ˜‰

 

OP, this ultimately comes down to your husband’s feelings. You know he’s upset about this stuff, and if you decide to keep hold of the things despite knowing how he feels about them, it could cause problems between you. I assume you married him because he is wonderful and better for you than any previous exes, so it really makes no sense to hold on to these things anymore.

I made it perfectly clear to Fiance when we moved in that I am not okay with him bringing photos, cards and letters etc. into the home we share, and if he had decided to keep those things anyway, it would always bother me that he refused to throw them out, and I’d honestly feel very hurt about it.

Post # 68
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Genetti\'s in Dickson City, PA

I have a few things- some old jewelry and a few photos, letters, cards etc. I keep them all in a memory box, so they’re not on display. I’m incredibly sentimental, and someday I think it’ll be fun to “remember that one weird guy that I dated before I married your dad” haha

 

Post # 69
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50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sunshine09:  I think it makes a different to how long ago the relationship was.  If you are 35, and you had a picture of your highschool boyfriend and you kissing… that was 20 years ago.  I’ve seen pictures of my husband and his HS girlfriend at 15 and it  makes me laugh how awkward and uncomfortable he looks, haha!  I would hate it if he would have felt he had to toss them out.  Now, a more recent girlfriend, I might feel a little weird about.  Maybe that’s why the other Bees are saying they wouldn’t keep them.  I was talking about OLD innocent relationships. 

Post # 70
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@RheannaRaye:  Whew, glad to know I’m not alone! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 71
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442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@mignonette:  I was talking about OLD innocent relationships.

 

Well I do in fact have pictures from my boyfriend in school… because he turned out to be gay and we are close friends to this day. We never had sex and it was a very innocent relationship. So I get what you mean πŸ™‚

Post # 72
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Husband and I don’t see a reason to keep that stuff.  It’s just clutter–we threw out all our ex stuff forever ago.

We need all the room we can get for our own memories! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 73
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@shesho:  We need all the room we can get for our own memories! πŸ™‚

+1

Post # 74
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Here’s how I look at it:

Pic of you with ex and other friends (group photo) – keep
Pic of you with ex being lovey (holding hands, kissing, all over each other, etc) – toss
Pic of you with ex without being obviously affectionate – keep
Any pics of exes that bother EITHER of you for any reason – toss

And this applies to both sides.  So if you find pictures of him that bother you, then he tosses them too.  Also, I don’t see why you’d want to keep pictures of exes.  At least for all of mine, they’re my ex for a reason, and usually for a reason that I wouldn’t want a picture of myself being all lovey with them on display.

 

Post # 75
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I kept items like stuffed animals, clothing, etc., but got rid of most all pictures and letters. Yes they meant something at one point, but not anymore. The only picture I kept is one from my junior prom, and I look good in it, so I just cut the ex out. Compromise!

Post # 76
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can’t understand why anyone would want to keep that stuff :/

 

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