(Closed) Married on a weekday?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

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Offbeatwifey2be:  

you say:  I know its a little rude to get married on a weekday simply b/c its not throughtful to your guests

 

then you ask: is that alright i mean it is up to us peopple can get over a weekday 6 months to ask for 2 days off mid week shouldnt be a problem?

 

so i think you answered your own question. it sounds like you don’t want to be accomadating to others who have weekdays but you want them to accomadate you.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by ajillity81.
Post # 17
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Offbeatwifey2be:  It would be super duper hard for me to take 2 weekdays off… I’d only do it if we were very close. That said, I got married on a thursday… So I can’t really talk! But we were in Mexico and everyone was there for the whole week.

This actually wouldn’t be a bad idea if you wanted to limit the numbers but still extend an invite to all of your people. The ones who really matter will find a way to be there, and you’ll still have your nearest and dearest.

Post # 18
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

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Offbeatwifey2be:  I may have missed something in one of your posts but why would they need two days?

Post # 19
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee

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Fizzy8:  This is true, but the OP would also have to deal with the fact that some of the nearest and dearest may not be able to get the time off as well.

Post # 20
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I got married on a Monday, and I didn’t think it was going to be as big a deal as it was.

To me, there’s not a lot of difference between a Monday wedding and a Friday wedding.  I figured most people would take 1-2 days off work for either one.  But in reality, it made a huge difference to people that to this day I still don’t understand.  We had about 50% of the people we invited RSVP yes and then the day of, there were a couple no-shows.  It was very upsetting to me.

So after my personal experience, I would HIGHLY discourage you from having a Tuesday wedding.  I don’t think many people could/would attend and that would most likely be hurtful to you as it was to me.  Good luck!

Post # 21
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

i would come after work and leave by 8:30pm, if i went at all.  Tuesday is an awkward day.  we are doing ours Sunday and already feel awkward about it, but its our anniversary date.  

Post # 22
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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Offbeatwifey2be:  can you do it on a Friday? That’s what we’re doing. It’s still a weekday technically, but people are happier to take off a 3-day weekend I think rather than a Tuesday and have to go back to work

Post # 23
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

First, go ask your VIPs (immediate family, bridal party, anyone else really important to you) if it’d be okay with them.  Don’t tell them that your fiance wants it sooooo bad or you won’t get honest responses.  Those are also the people who will have to take off multiple days for rehersal setting up etc, so it’s especially important to run it by them.  If they’re all cool with it, go for it, just expect a smaller guest list and be ready to graciously accept declines with no attitude whatsoever, even for people you were sure would come.  If your VIPs seem hesitant about it, I’d scrap the idea altogether, but that’s just me.

It’s a problem for people who work definately, but I think it might be a bigger problem for people in school.  I know my college and grad school didn’t give a toot if you were partying on the beach or having a heart attack, if you missed more than a very small number of days (for some once a week classes when I say “small number” I mean “more than one”) you had to fill out paperwork detailing all the days you missed and why and apply for waivers and provide documentation and even then they could still fail you.  There is no one I’d risk a failing grade for so they can have their wedding on a weekday, not even immediate family.  So just keep that in mind if you’re inviting students.  

Post # 24
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Offbeatwifey2be:  I’m traveling to a wedding on a Friday later this year, and I feel like that is fine. I would go to a Friday evening wedding, but unless I was in the same town, I probably wouldn’t go to any other weeknight wedding unless it was one of my closest friends.

One thing to think about – does your Fiance really want your anniversary to be on his birthday? Then you get to lump anniversary with birthday for presents and he has to think of a present/sweet thing to do for you on his birthday! 

If you need to cut down the guest list though… this is a great way to do it. 🙂

Post # 25
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Christy42213:  What time was your wedding at? If it was a morning wedding with a brunch/afternoon reception, I’d think it would have similar RSVPs as to a Friday wedding. But if it were an evening reception, that would require another day off work/another night in a hotel for out of town guests – which could make quite a difference.

Post # 26
Member
15 posts
Newbee

Only if it was immediate family could I attend.  I would try and suggest other dates or have the honeymoon on his birthday like you said.  I personally think the birthday would take away from your anniversary and vise versa instead of having two special occasions

Post # 27
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

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Nomster:  We got married at 2:30pm and the reception was from 4-9pm.  So it wasn’t a late night party.  Some guests still left early.  I will never understand.

Post # 28
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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Offbeatwifey2be:  We had a weekday wedding, but the only reason it worked was because it was on New Year’s Eve and we gave our guests a year’s notice so they could prepare or decline as needed, and we only had family and really close friends. Unless I was related to you, I probably wouldn’t take off two work days for a wedding. Even then, it may be hard for family to take off. What about the weekend before or after his birthday? Or…you guys could get married with really close family at the courthouse on his birthday and do a reception/dinner the following weekend?

Post # 29
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Christy42213:  Hmm, that timing does seem fairly reasonable. I can imagine a few people needing to leave early if they couldn’t take another day off and had to get a late night flight to get home, but not everyone would be in that situation.

I’m sorry that so many people declined/left early. 🙁

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