(Closed) Married only 4 days and the in Laws are already attacking

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
1715 posts
Bumble bee

I have no idea what you should in this situation, except maybe grief counceling for the entier family.

Post # 6
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I just wanted to get it right in my head: did they step down as BMs in the end? And then they wore the same dresses, and the dresses that you had bought them?? Undecided That’s really strange behavior, and pretty nasty in the end, I think they really have a problem.

I’m not sure what to advise you but to maybe step back a bit. Be nice to their faces but then step back from all family events, encourage Darling Husband to go but not go yourself, surround yourself with your own loving family and friends and try not to involve yourself with them as much as possible.

Oh, and maybe there’d be more responses if you move this to “family” or “emotional”. Just a suggestion 🙂

Post # 8
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

@NikoKitty:  what BBBBBB…………….CTH. I’m going to get married in 2 mounth, my mother in-law is coming and that’s it 🙂 not that like her, just because she’s the mother of the groom, but the 3 brothers and stepfather they can go……………….., but one thing that women can make sure ..” I DIDN’T FORGET AND I DON’T FORGIVE WHAT U SAID ABOUT ME”.  just because i’m Portuguese and she’s English and because i don’t say “YES” to eveything ; just because she whants me to. lol       IT IS MY DAY….



Post # 9
13289 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry this is going on, but I do think your letter was a bit inappropriate.  You should have addresses each problem with each person individually, and not use name calling (you called the mother class-less in the first paragraph, which is not a way to win respect). 

That being said, it seems like all of you need some serious counseling, and fast, before whatever problems his family and you have with each other ruins his relationship with his family.

Post # 10
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you and your husband need to take a break from these people. I know it can be hard to step back from family, but really, you’re newly married and you have a family of your own to start building. I know how hard it is to lose a parent, but these people are way past the excuse of grieving. 

I think it’s time to be out when they call and busy when they want to get together and unable to talk right now when they want to borrow money. I don’t think you need to be overt about not speaking to them, but you do need to create distance. Eventually things will wind down when they learn that whatever family drama they’re enacting is going to have to be played out without you and your husband. 

Post # 12
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

All I can say is wow… While I understand that what they have done is awful and how they are acting toward you is absolutely nuts, I just don’t think you can expect things to get any better after what you have written to them… Chewing them out via a letter is not your place. This would be ok if it was YOUR family, but your in-laws? I don’t think so. This is a situation your hubby is going to need to settle, not you. I would be completely pissed if my sister-in-law did this to my family after the wedding. You cannot expect them to come to you with open arms and smiling faces at this point. The damage is done. They need time and space to think about how they acted on your special day, you need to leave them be. But at this point, after you’ve already written that letter, good luck.

Post # 13
116 posts
Blushing bee

I do not think she should have sent the email to everyone individually. If they are like my family they would more than likely change the story for their benefit. Now their will be o room to change things around.

They are more than likely upset that you were able to be there for their mom and they were not. If they are this petty you should stay away form them as much as possible. They are extremely toxic and you will have a lot of dram in your life.

Post # 14
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow.. I think you all need major space. Don’t babysit the kids, don’t lend them money, just stay away for a while. Maybe get everyone to go to counseling and then regroup in a few months?

Post # 15
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I’m sorry, but I don’t see this as the in-laws attacking- this reads as *you* are attacking. 

The topic ‘Married only 4 days and the in Laws are already attacking’ is closed to new replies.

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