(Closed) Married people Cheating (sorry had to be blunt..)

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@StarIzInkd:  i freak out about htis too. i know one woman (dated her husband for 5 years before marriage) whose husband walked out to be with another woman after a year of marriage. another woman who saw her fi looking at sex ads on craiglist and replying “am discrete and available to travel” one month before wedding…and still married him (believing that he was only into the fantasy of it and not really wanting to do it mmmmm)

ive been hit on by married men and ive seen people i know being rather friendly with people i know arent their spouses. its just depressing isnt it?!

i trust my fi but i do sometimes wonder if one day he would. i have a friend who believe *nobody* is faithful, or at least not men

Post # 4
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That doesnt really happen much at all in our area. Move to the middle of nowhere (Im talking 500 houses in our area of a few towns) and things are very different. 

Post # 5
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Hm… is it possible that is your area/group? I see you live in NYC… do you have a lot of friends who are going out all the time, working tons of hours, kind of a “culture” like that? I almost feel like it is self perpetuating. The more people who do it, the more it seems normal, and the more people WILL do it. 

Honestly, I have no idea how my husband even could cheat (and this would go for most of the people in relationships in our area). We go to work. We come home. We don’t “work late” or weekends almost ever. We almost never go out without the other. My husband and I use each others’ phone interchangeably. We share an ipad with both of our email getting filtered into one “mailbox.” He almost never uses a computer other than the ipad. We go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time. I mean… unless he was having sex with someone AT WORK and never talking to them outside of work… it wouldn’t even be possible. 

I feel like that is just kind of the norm here (midwest) and particularly amongst the married couples I know.

Post # 6
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think a lot of it might have to do with a person’s social circle. Birds of a feather flock together, right? Occasionally I hear 2nd and 3rd-hand information about people who have cheated, but it’s not something I regularly encounter. If it was something that was happening around me all the time, then yeah, I’d be a little skeeved too!

Post # 7
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You need a new crowd, darling.  

I don’t knowanyone who cheats.

Post # 9
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t know anyone who cheats (or at least, who tells people about it). I think it may be the social scene you run in.

Post # 11
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My ex husband and I dated for 3 years, married for 2 and he left me for a co-worker that was 13 years older than he is (we are only 1 year apart in age). Aparently she was known around the office as being a whore but apparently my ex thought he was special. They are married now. Let’s see how long that lasts…But anyway, I have found happiness and have moved on. I am now married to a wonderful guy that would give me the world. I also have a girlfriend that figured out her husband is cheating on her too. She kicked him out and now he is living with the girlfriend. I am currently trying to be there for her and her child Undecided

So yes, the stats scare me too…but I know I got it right this time! You just have to be on the look out for red flags before making that plunge!

Post # 12
Member
3183 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Not really sure what the open marriage has to do with it?  They obviously aren’t “cheating”

Post # 13
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@StarIzInkd:  between the one couple I know who have an OPEN marriage and scew whoeveer, whenever


Just throwing it out there – that isn’t cheating.

Post # 15
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@StarIzInkd:  I mean hey awesome it works for them but then personally I don’t understand the marriage part.. technically isn’t that a vow of marriage?

Because there’s still commitment.  Just because you have sex with people outside of your marriage (when it’s discussed and agreed upon, mind you) does not mean there is no commitment and love.  Not to mention the legal aspects that come along with marriage.

SO it just adds on to me the feeling that no one is happily married and JUST with their partner and no one else. No I don’t think I would really say they are “cheating” but it doesn’t make me have anymore faith in marriage though hearing that.

A happy marriage and open arrangements are not mutually exclusive.

I would say you should stop focusing on other people’s relationship to base your “faith in marriage” off of and simply focus on your own.

Post # 16
Member
3183 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Vidya:  Agreed. No two relationships are identical.  If two people are happy together and find what works for them, more power to them.  

The topic ‘Married people Cheating (sorry had to be blunt..)’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors