Post # 1
I don’t know where to put this post.. but I was just thinking about this.. there was another post where the girl was told endlessly to wait until undergrad is over and she has a career to get married. But what about girls in my position?
I know grad students have “jobs” they get paid for research or TA-ing but it’s not a real job. Would this be considered different than having a real job? Do you think one should wait until they are finished with their Master or PhD program?
And what about professional school ie. PA school, Med School, Vet School? A person is just going to be in more debt until they are finished with school.. Should one wait until they are done with school and have a job to get married? Or do you think it would be ok to get married before or during?
Why I’m asking this is because I am in my mid 20’s, I have my bachelor’s my master’s and am possibly heading off to get my DVM. I am no where finacially stable as most Bee’s are on here, and am heading back to school for another 4 years. And I don’t have a “real” job, the economy stinks, and it doesn’t help I’m not sure where will be in 3 months. Should I be waiting until I am financially stable to get married?? Would you be waiting?
Post # 3
I know tons of grad students who are married, including me. I don’t see the need to wait.
Post # 4
I dont’ think financial security should be the test. That being said, I voted “no” for both scenarios, based on my ancedotal evidence that not ONE person that got married before or during lawschool is still married 10 years later.
Post # 5
I am getting married right before I’m done with grad school. More than half of my cohort is engaged or married.
Post # 6
I’m a med student, and we got married right before I started school. I couldn’t have stood waiting any longer to get married – at some point you just have to start your life. It will actually be freeing for me too, because Darling Husband has a good job to support me, so as soon as I make any money as a resident we can start using my salary to pay back all the loans while living off his.
Post # 7
I got my DVM in June 2011; I would say about 1/4 to 1/3 of my class got engaged and/or married during vet school. One classmate got married the weekend before graduation so her whole family and older relatives could attend both events. I don’t think anyone else got married during senior clinics, but plenty did on the summers in between first and second year and second and third year.
Post # 8
I am getting married right before (as in days) I start graduate school. Fiance will have just finished law school. I don’t think we could wait until after I graduate in 4-5 years (by then we will have been together for about 10 years). All that being said, our parents are paying for most of the wedding. If they weren’t, we would still get married in the same time frame, but we would probably elope.
Post # 9
I’m getting married in May and starting grad school in August. My graduate assistantship will pay for all of my tuition and give me a stipend, and my fiance has a really decent job he can do from home. We’re used to being pathetically poor, so being just plain poor will be nice. 🙂
Post # 10
My Fiance is in medical school and I am getting my Masters in Education. We got engaged a few weeks after I started grad school, and we’ll be getting married just a few weeks before we graduate. I think professional/grad school is so different than undergrad! A lot of people get engaged and married in professional/grad school. If my Fiance and I waiting until we were 100% financially secure to get married, we’d have to wait like 5 more years, which is crazy! I think people should get married when they’re ready, regardless of what type of school they’re in!
Post # 11
I’m getting married in the second year of my PhD program, so no, I don’t think it’s silly. But I don’t agree with you that it’s not a real job, I work 60+ hours a week and make more money as a grad student than plenty of people with Bachelors level positions these days.
Post # 11
I personally wanted to wait until after grad school to get engaged/move in together.
So that is what we did, well I finished the classes but the thesis took a little longer than I wanted. I sold my house and moved in with my Fiance once we got engaged (May 2011). Currently, I am wrapping up my thesis and I plan to defend in April 2012. I am working full time on top of that, and Fiance has been great. He actually hasn’t “known” me NOT to be in school and working.
While we were dating and me living in my house, there would be days when I just not see him at all becuase I was busy every waking second with work or school. I just couldn’t add another person into my equation. Now if you didn’t work and just had school, maybe it won’t be as hard, but my Fiance and school constantly jockeyed for for priority and I just couldn’t make both a priority all the time. I had to schedule my visit to FI’s house into my calendar and make sure school work was done on all the other nights I wasn’t staying with him.
I want to be able to focus on the marriage, and not have any school on my plate when I get married, but that is me and my personal situation.
Post # 12
@TopazWedding: I work a full time job for the state govt and am doing my PhD online. I have to travel 4 separate weeks between a 2013-2014 for face to face clinical work and am still throwing a wedding right in the middle of it all. Honestly, I first said we should wait and then realized why…it’s something that will happen and I really do not want school to run my life schedule completely.
Post # 13
I think I know the post you’re referring to, and you’re in a totally different situation. The comments in that post were mostly around encouraging that bride to live on her own for a bit, or at least spend a few years getting to know her own interests professionally/educationally.
I personally think that once you’ve gotten your bachelor’s (or even spent a few years outside of your parents’ home) you have a much more complete view of the world than someone who is 17 and living with their parents. I’ll be 30 when I finish my bachelor’s. I would hope I have enough life experience to have reasonable expectations for personal and professional growth, and for growth in my relationship.
I’ll be going into grad school in the fall, and while the financial ramifications will be hard, I think that I’ve objectively evaluated mine and FI’s goals enough to be comfortable committing our lives to eachother. Those first few years out of high school can be a really tumultuous time and it’s important to allow space in your relationship to grow and expand.
Post # 14
Are the two of you as a couple stable? Does he have a job? If the two of you will have an income coming in, it is fine to get married but it will probably be stressful. But being in a relationship at the same time will be stressful.
Post # 15
I know penty of people who have gotten married in grad school (for speech, MD, etc.) I think you should do whatever feels right for you, but don’t let the idea of being in school deter you from marriage if that’s what you want! It can be done – and it often is!