- 4 years ago
Regular bee gone anon because I’m embarassed/confused/just need to get this out anonymously. Please be kind…I know that people may have strong feelings but I’m really hoping to get advice rather than criticism.
I’ve been with Darling Husband for 10 years, married for 3. We have basically been together since the start of college. For the past 5 years I’ve worked from home doing freelance work but about 6 months ago I decided to start working for another company with more steady work that requires me to go into an office every day. I love the work environment and my coworkers. I’m one of two women on my team, so I spend most of my time with a lot of guys–which I don’t mind because I’ve always been the type to have more guy friends than girl friends. The problem is that since very early on at the new job I developed a crush on one of my coworkers.
I recently had to work a conference with this coworker as well as 3 other people from my team. It was a really fun trip all together and we definitely drank/partied during the nights while we were there. During the trip my crush (who has a girlfriend of about a year) was being flirtatious and I started to get the feeling that he was into me. Nothing blatant, but definitely got the flirty feeling, plus a few touches on the arm/back as we were in a crowded bar.
At one point our whole group was just hanging out on the beach late at night and everyone started to go back to their rooms– he suggested that if I wasn’t tired we should just stay out there and keep hanging out, because he wasn’t ready for bed either. Using my better judgment I called it a night, but ever since I have been wondering if he actually is into me or if I’m just reading into things. I also wonder if he would have tried something if we were alone together, and how I would have reacted. The thing is, I KNOW it shouldn’t matter either way, but I can’t help but wonder.
I’ve never had a crush on ANYONE since meeting Darling Husband, even just back when we were dating. Overall our marriage is good– we are happy, communicate well, rarely argue, etc. This is really throwing me for a loop and I don’t know how to deal with it. This whole situation is really throwing me off. I don’t know where these feelings are coming from and I’m not sure how to deal with them. I’m sure some people will suggest cutting off any sort of friendship with this coworker, but I don’t want to… I like being around him and I like going out with my coworkers all together.
Thanks for reading and letting me get this off my chest. I don’t feel comfortable telling this to any of my friends. Has anyone ever dealt with something like this?