anonasker737: So I have posted my story a billion times on here, but I’m doing it again to precisely prove my point that you HAVE to stay away from this guy.
I was engaged to what I thought was an awesome guy. My family loved him, my friends loved him. He treated me very well and I thought I was so lucky to have him in my life. We were very excited to be planning our wedding (and he was very involved, unlike a lot of guys). I know it sounds cliche, but I was on cloud 9.
Then it came crashing down literally one day. My ex traveled for business a lot. One day I got a text on my phone (because sometimes we would use each other’s phones) from one of his female coworkers. It was clear that this wasn’t an innocent text. After some back and forth, I found out that he was having an affair with his coworker.
Once he got home and we had the chance to really talk, I discovered that this relationship started innocently enough – as a crush. But instead of nipping it in the bud and realizing he’s in a committed relationship with me, he decided he could handle it. But he couldn’t. The crush turned into the two of them meeting for dinner, and meeting up at the gym. He developed feelings for her.
By the time I found out, they had really strong feelings for each other. He had then decided he wanted to work things out with me, and I said no. I will never forget the day I kicked him out and he stood there in front of me, crying, begging me to give him another chance. I will never forget the hurt that he caused me because he decided it was more exciting to explore his crush, than to be a man and stay away from her. Don’t get me wrong, I feel she’s at fault too as she knew he was with me with this all started and she didn’t stay away from him either.
Do you even want to put yourself in the position where this has the potential of happening???
I know you don’t want to hear that you have to stay away from this guy, but you have to.
Being attracted to others is completely normal. Work crushes are extremely common. I totally get that. I’ve been attracted to guys I work with as well. But, I stayed away from them and did not let my feelings develop further. You owe it to your marriage to do the same.
And as others have said, what if your husband was in your position? Wouldn’t you be so incredibly hurt?
If you have to work with this guy, keep it strictly professional. No meeting him one on one, no talking to him outside of group settings or unless you absolutely have to.
Please, please nip this in the bud. I’m not trying to sound dramatic, but I would never want someone else to go though what I went through.