(Closed) Married women- Did marriage make you guys closer?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we’d already been together for over 10 years (since sophomore year of high school) and living together for about 6. so… not really. but he has been a little bit sweeter than before. i even got flowers a couple weeks ago and i don’t remember the last time he gave me flowers! so i guess there really is a “honeymoon stage” no matter how long you’ve been together!

Post # 4
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yep…it was scary how quick it happened (that we became closer).  By the time we got married, we had already gone through one deployment, 1 1/2 years of an LDR, so we had a lot of opportunity to really strengthen our relationship and grow closer.  While our LDR before the wedding was hard, it was like something snapped when we got married.  Being apart from him became unbearable and very hard to handle (he left a week after the wedding..seen him twice and we’ve been married almost 7 months).  I think for me, even though I 110% trusted him, once became married it was like, “Ok…the real deal has FINALLY happened.  I can let down that one last emotional barrier.”  Once I let that barrier down…I don’t know, I can’t even begin to describe the intense closeness I felt to him.  And we were already very emotional tied together, committed, etc.  The only way I can think of to describe it is this; every day I wake up, I love my husband more.  Whether it’s because he did something sweet, he’s just being himself, whatever…my love for him grows.  It’s also that way for our closeness.  Each day we become closer and closer.

Post # 5
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

 I think in some way, yes

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I would say yes too, even though after living together for 7 years I wouldn’t have expected it. I wasn’t consciously keeping anything from him, there were no obvious barriers or anything between us. But since the wedding there’s been a real sense of total openness and intimacy…like this is my husband and we are in this together and I can show him any part of me and it won’t change that. It is liberating and comforting and safe all at once. Very hard to explain especially as I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s a nice feeling 🙂

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Meh aside from the daily-interaction part that came in about 6 months after we got married, not really. But we still feel the same emotionally. It seems we’re the odd man out. 

Post # 8
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think so either.  We have been through a lot and already lived together for 5 years.

Post # 9
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, in a way similar to what mountain.bride said. We had been together 5 years before the wedding, 1 of those years living together after 3 years of LDR, and it did have a new feeling to it that I didn’t really expect. I just feel we’re more of a team. It’s not a huge difference, just kind of subltle and hard to describe. It isn’t as noticable now that we’ve been married over a year now though. Darling Husband has said it seems the same to him though :p lol

Post # 10
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Yes.  We didn’t live together and so many things changed (in a good way).  The most tangible way I can describe is this feeling of family.  That family are the people you can totally let down your guard with, wear the glasses, no makeup, crappy clothes look, be PMSing and it’s all ok.  I am amazed at how much that switched from my parents and siblings to FH.  Before we got married, I had a little bit of trouble traveling with him, that I couldn’t 100% relax and have him be my comfort, and now I can.  That’s a little jarbled, but the answer is yes, we are definitely closer.

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@JsDragonfly: That’s beautiful!

This is such an interesting thread, I love reading all the responses because this is a question I’ve wondered about myself. Some of our friends said yes they felt closer after they married, some said they stayed the same. Fiance expects things to be the same (we’ve been together for 5 years, living together for most of it), but I think it will be different. I think it’ll be that sense of family that you guys have mentioned and finally being able to let that one last emotional barrier down.

Post # 12
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had already been through a lot together in the years we had been together, but yes in some ways I do feel closer to him.  Things just feel way more permanent and open between us then they did before we were marreid

Post # 13
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes.  As soon as we had our ceremony, I felt a change.  I feel much closer to him, as if now we are a unit–a team.  It is us against the world.  He is my family.  I feel like I love him more than I did before we got married.  I feel safer in our relationship than I did before, too; as if we are stronger in our relationship than before (and we were always really tightly bound to each other before too).  I am so proud to call myself his WIFE.  It feels so different/better than saying I am his girlfriend or even fiance–it just carries much more weight.

I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that we didn’t live together before getting married.  We closed on our house a week after we got married, so now are in our beautiful starter home.  Also, our engagement was about 4 months long, so maybe there’s still leftover BLISS from the engagement too :o) IDK

Post # 14
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had been together for almost 6 years before the wedding and we even lived together for about a year and a half before the wedding but there is still something about just being married that makes us feel closer somehow. I can’t really explain it, but there’s definitely that official feeling of “family unity” that was there before in someway, but not quite as intensely. Does that make any sense what so ever? lol

Post # 15
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Absolutely. I didn’t expect it, and at first I kept saying, “Do you feel different? I don’t feel any different!” but it kind of crept up on us! 

Post # 16
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would have to say not. I think we were closer before we got married.

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