Post # 1
I ask this because I have all but planned mine on my own! From the catered food to the guest list to the location to the color of the plastic table clothes.
My maides are capable women, but all live out to fhe area or have never done this before. I have three times so I know what I want and do not want. I do have slight control issues yes, but, I also just LOVE planning events and I have become OCD over the months about organization
I have a large family, so we are expecting about 60 aunts and cousins to attend the shower. I am keeping everything cheap as possible. Right now, with 8 bridesmaids, it is looking at about $64 a piece for food and game prizes ($10 giftcards).
Should I back off?
Post # 3
When is your shower??? I see your wedding date is Sept 2011.
I would say back off a little. Maybe give them a chance first to plan it and then if need be step in??
Post # 4
Not involved at all.
I hate getting gifts, and would hate to look like I am trying to schmooze.
If my friends or family want to throw a shower, they can have at it. If not, no tears will be shed.
imo I would back off a bit.. you dont want to step on anyones toes or anything.
Post # 5
I wasnt involved at all besides telling my Maid/Matron of Honor who to send invites to and giving her their addresses. I just showed up, ate the food and opened gifts!
Post # 6
i definately loveeeeee to be involved in everything and it is driving me a little crazy that they want to surprise me … i know my sister and some bm have been chatting around my back about it. i just like to know…! and i am determined to find out!!
Post # 7
I’m not having one, so not involved in the slightest. Also not expecting anything for a bachelorette party, so I guess that means I’m not involved in that aspect either!
Post # 8
My mother planned every detail. I designed my own cake and showed up.
I learned from being on the Bee that it isn’t correct etiquette for a bride’s mother to throw the shower, but in our circle I have never seen it done any other way.
Post # 9
I wasn’t involved at all. Mine was a complete surprise!
Post # 10
Hmm…I would recommend backing off. A shower is supposed to be about other people wanting to plan something for you as a recognition of your upcoming wedding. If I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’d be really upset that you planned your own party and basically handed me the bill. It’s fine to give hints for what you’d like, but I do think you have to realize that you’ve gone as far as throwing yourself a party. And if you’re doing that, I would think that you should pay for it yourself too.
Post # 11
I’m not involved at all, it looks very gift-grabby if you plan and host your own shower.
Post # 12
i provided the guest list. And addresses. I’m a teeny bit afraid of what they are up to, left to their own devices, but they won’t give me any info 🙂
It seems a bit hard to back off now after its already planned. Someone else besides you has to at least ‘run it’ though, day off. Tell ppl how to play games etc. It would be a bit odd if you did all that.
Post # 13
What about giving your BMs all your great ideas and letting them book?
Post # 14
My Maid/Matron of Honor planned mine (mainly, but had help from the BM’s). We haven’t had it yet and there was a point where the planning started late and I had to have a discussion with my Maid/Matron of Honor basically telling her “hey, is this too much? Can you do this? Are you too busy for it? If so, then stop procrastinating because the other BMs are waiting on you since YOU made it clear YOU wanted to do this.”
Thank god I’ve known her forver; she completely understood and took charge and has been doing it all. (first time doing it herself, so she did a little research which is what your BMs may do). But, I plan on showing up and eating and opening gifts 🙂 Thats it!
Post # 15
I was involved in setting the date (I live in Nashville and the shower was in Boston where our families live and where the wedding was) and I was asked to provide the names and addresses of the friends that I wanted invited (the mother’s handled the guest lists for family). That was it. My bridemaids planned the whole thing and I just showed up. I think you should absolutely back off. You really shouldn’t be involved in planning the shower. If your bridesmaids aren’t stepping up to the plate that’s something you just have to deal with. If they decide to plan and host a shower for you then you graciously accept whatever they have planned.
Post # 16
My shower is September 17. It is going to kick start the wedding week!
My BMs and family want to host one, but since I know the area better, I just wanted to lend a hand so to speak. hehehehehe