Marrieds…do you still date?

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2784 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Mrs.MilitaryBee :  I think date nights are super important and good for you for keeping them a priority in your marriage.  I’ve read your previous posts and it sounds like you guys have been through a lot.  It sounds like you two are able to reconnect on those dates when you’re alone.  I think too many people lose sight of that with the craziness of kids and jobs.

We’ve only been married a little more than a year and I am pregnant.  My husband works a lot of hours, including every other weekend.  We have to set aside time for dates.  We still see our friends quite a bit, but now that everyone is having kids, we don’t get together as much as previously.  My family is local which makes it hard because we are invited to everything.  We have learned to tell people no. 

Our date nights aren’t anything super special.  We live in the suburbs now so sometimes we go to the city, but usually we stay in the ‘burbs.  Our suburb has a nice downtown area so we go walking there a lot.  We go to the botanical gardens quite a bit.  We do a lot of ourdoor stuff like bike riding and hiking. Sometimes we just go out for desert, sometimes out for breakfast instead of dinner if my husband has to work an evening shift.  I work most weekends as well right now so squeezing in any time is helpful.

Post # 3
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also agree that date nights are even more important once married.  I have found in my own life that it is so easy to get caught up in daily life and you can easily feel like roommates.  My husband and I try to have at least one day of the weekend where we do something by ourselves, even if its just lay off and watch tv together.  Having that time alone to just talk and relax is great.  Sometimes we go for a drive to the pier and have lunch and just walk around enjoying the weather.  Bowling is a big part of our lives as well as my husband really enjoys it so I try to go with him and that is our date night option too.  

Post # 5
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think a big part of the reason my 1st marriage failed is because we didn’t stay connected when life got stressful and super busy. A child with cancer, him working full time and in school full time, I went back to work and was working 70 hrs a week. Staying connected is SO important.

For that reason, I make it a huge priority to stay connected to my current husband. We do go on date nights, although we had faltered and hadn’t in a little while until last week. I remember sitting at the restaurant and belly laughing with him and it was so nice. We have a rule that no phones are out on date nights so that we can really focus on one another. Date nights re-ignite that flame from when we were first dating, so I think they’re super important.

Post # 7
Member
3034 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Mrs.MilitaryBee :  i think that remaining connected and close is super important to a healthy, long-lasting marriage. date nights can definitely be the way to do that. Darling Husband and i were never big on “dates” in general – even before marriage. we spend a lot of time together, and go out to dinner about once a week, etc. but we dont usually dress up or anything. two things we do do though: we always go to bed together, and we sleep naked. again, it’s about fostering closeness and connectedness. and that’s our main outlet for it (plus, you’re much more likely to have spontaneous sexy times when you’re already naked (: )

Post # 8
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee

Totally we do! Date night’s the best and is vital to our relationship i think. Mind you, we don’t have kids which I’m sure makes it MUCH easier. We did open a business/restaurant this year though so that made things challenging time and energy-wise for a while.

It’s important to step back from your day to day lives and stressors to really focus on each other and your relationship, I think. 

Post # 10
Member
8603 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We don’t do regular/scheduled date night (we didn’t do dates much even when we were dating) but we make sure to spend a lot of time together. We play video games together, go hiking, take weekend camping trips, watch movies together. Basically we make sure to prioritize our time together, enjoying each other’s company and staying connected. 

ETA: We’ve talked about doing a “date night” once we have kids just to ensure that we make time to focus on our relationship. 

Post # 11
Member
5899 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

We definitely still date, though with a 6 month old it can be tricky and definitely isn’t as often as we’d like. However since these dates are becoming fewer and farther in between, we make sure to make those date nights extra special. Our next one is in mid-August and we’re actually planning on spending the night in a different city, just the two of us. Then in mid-September we’re going to a Billy Joel concert and leaving our son with my parents overnight so we don’t have to worry about rushing home that night. We like to try and throw in dinner and a movie nights on some random Tuesdays too. I cherish our dates 🙂

It’s funny, we definitely still dated before our son was born, but I guess we didn’t really realize the importance of it until after. We love our son more than words can describe but it’s so important for us to still have some alone time as a couple. 

Post # 12
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

We don’t date, or call it a date but we go out for lunch semi regularly (usually decided on the weekend day itself) and we spend every evening together watching netflix or a movie. Pretty much all our time not working is spent together so we don’t really feel the need to get dressed up and organise something specific. I’m pregnant now so when we have kids we will probably feel differently and make time to go out just the two of us every month or so. 

Post # 13
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Yes! But it’s twice a year, and this year one of our regular dates is pretty likely to fall through. We need a better plan. 

Post # 14
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

We definitely do! Especially since quality time is my biggest love language, we make it a priority to have one-on-one time. We don’t have kids right now, which makes this easy, but we already have planned/agreed to weekly date nights even after we have kids in order to keep our relationship strong.

Post # 15
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yep! In fact I should be getting my first real estate check soon and when I do I’m taking my husband on a date to The Melting Pot. That’s a really good fondue place but it’s pretty pricey so we only go once in a blue moon.

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