- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
I am looking for some thoughts on getting engaged/married to someone who has a substantial amount of student (or other kinds) debt.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5.5 years and living together for just over 2. We met in college and thankfully, both come from families that were able to financially provide for us. Neither of us have undergraduate student debt.
However, my boyfriend (soon to be fiance, I hope) immediately went to graduate school to get his Masters in Computer Science. He has financed this completely with student loans, and a very vague promise from his parents that they will help him pay back some of this debt. In the two years that he’s been pursuing this degree, though, he hasn’t gotten a clear answer in terms of how much they will helping him and when they will be helping.
Anyway, he’s finishing up that degree next week…and going directly to law school at the end of August. He has a half scholarship to law school, but obviously, will wrack up significant debt during his three years there.
We have been together a long time and have been planning to get engaged for awhile now. He is currently ring shopping with his mom and I have every reason to believe we will be getting engaged in the next few months.
What are your opinions on getting into an engagement (and marriage) with someone who has significant debt? We are both relatively young (24), but don’t feel like we want to wait another 3 years to get married. And even if we did wait the three years for him to finish law school, it would take him way longer to pay off all that debt.
He’s very frank and upfront about what this will cost him (and us) in the future, but I also trust him. He’s an exceptionally smart guy going to an excellent law school. He has a clear career path (IP law, which is why he had to get the Masters in CS first) and is a very hard worker. Assuming his plan works out (and I am confident that it will), he will be making around $130,000+ when he graduates law school.
Am I crazy to marry someone who is still in school and amassing all that debt? How would you handle this? At some point, I want to return to grad school, but don’t want to further burden us.