(Closed) Married…With Debt

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@nber0815:  Personally, I don’t see debt as a deal breaker in itself, but bad money management might be one. DH and I both have debt – he has credit card debt and I have student loans. However, DH has stopped using his credit card and has never missed a repayment in our four years together. If he was still financially irresponsible and had like five unpaid credit cards, that would have been a red flag, but I trust that he can manage money and he’s never expected me to cover his debts. 

If the two of you are talking marriage, you need to have this discussion. Don’t be afraid to tell him that you’re wondering how it’s all going to work when he has to repay his loans. Hiding your fears is not going to work because it will all come out at some point, probably at a totally wrong time like in the middle of a fight. It’s better to have a calm and rational discussion. 

Post # 48
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Pre-nup. seriosuly. A pre-nup is not just for wealth, it’s also to protect yourself from your partner’s individual debt should the relationship fail.

Post # 49
2284 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@LoggerHead91207:  Yeah, I’m not super worried. I know that I won’t have to make like $500 a month payments, so that feels a little better. Plus, knowing that I have two incomes (mine and my boyfriends) helps a lot. 

Post # 50
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

GUYS. No one here is answering her question. She has explicitly stated, more than once, that she is not asking if she should marry him. She is asking whether they should wait to get married until after law school, when they will have a better idea of finances. I am so sorry OP. I hope people actually bother to give you the advice you seek. I don’t feel I can answer your question because I don’t know enough. How are you planning on financing the wedding? That is really my biggest question. If you can afford a wedding somehow, then do it. If you can’t, then wait.

Post # 51
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t, but I also don’t believe in borrowing every penny to fund a graduate degree. I’d ask him to work for a few years (2 or 3) in a job compatible with his master’s and pay off that degree before pursuing another. If his parents are being vague about helping with his education, who will pay for a wedding?


How much money are we talking, OP? Student loans are some of the cheapest loans you will encounter, but the law field is cut throat and job opportunities are few and far between because it’s a career people commit their entire lives to. If it’s less than 50k I think you can be confident you will pay it off. If it’s more than 100k, what will you do if he doesn’t get hired in his field right away? Or at all? Have a backup plan for your backup plan to your backup plan.

ETA: I guess I didn’t understand the question. If you are asking when to get married, I would say that unless your parents are footing the bill, then you can’t exactly plan a wedding if he has no income and is in debt?

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