(Closed) Marry now wedding later?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@TequilaSunrise: If you need insurane then i don’t think it such a lame idea. If it would make you and Fiance happy do make it official now then why not?!

Post # 4
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You go do your thing at the courthouse. Then have a nice dinner with your family. Renew your vows later.

Post # 5
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My FH and I are actually doing the same thing. I definitely don’t think the insurance thing is lame at all. That stuff is not cheap at all. I say go for it. There’s no rule that says you can’t already be legally married, when you get married 

Post # 7
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I secretly want to, as well!  Do what’s best for your family!

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I almost did that.  I had the date set, an officiant booked and everything.  We were going to get married this Friday actually then in the Spring do a symbolic ceremony during our honeymoon.  Then I started to get second thoughts about it because I wanted my wedding day to be the day I wore my dress and felt like a bride, not one in a courthouse just for insurance reasons.  I felt like I was going to miss out on something that every other girl gets to have just for insurance.  I didn’t want to feel like I was playing dress up when I put on my dress that I had already purchased and just go through the motions.  It didn’t feel romantic to me, it felt staged.  My dad called the courthouse wedding it a ‘legal transaction’ and said that my real wedding day was whatever day I wanted to call my wedding day but I knew deep down that I would always know that I missed something. 

Honestly, getting married for insurance purposes is a smart idea and if you don’t care about the things I cared about, you definitely should do it.  It’s smart.  I just couldn’t handle knowing that would be my wedding day.  I even asked people to just not acknowledge that day because it was just for insurance, but deep down I was going to know that my symbolic ceremony was fake no matter how bad I wanted it to be real.

Post # 9
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

To be honest, we got legal 5 days before our wedding, and I felt a little like we cheated ourselves. We were already married, and yet we spent so much time (and money) to throw a party? It was a little strange for me. Don’t get me wrong, it was still special, but it wasn’t what I expected. I also attribute this to the fact that nothing but my name would change after we were married. Seems like you guys have a similar situation- you already have a family and are as “married” as you can be without the paper. So, I say it depends on you. If you’re happy to get legal now and have your wedding later, go for it! Just make sure it dooesn’t impact how you feel on the day because it should be your princess (or insert how you want to feel) day. 

Post # 10
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@TequilaSunrise: The courthouse and nice dinner is something I’m leaning towards now.  I think it’s a great idea considering you two have children together.  Renewing vows and saving up money for that will be especially nice.

Post # 11
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The thought has crossed my mind! I think it’s fine, and then when you get married it will be a fun celebration and renewal of your vows, like a PP said

Post # 13
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Health insurance was exactly why we got married a year before our wedding! We are so happy we did that and it turned out to be a wise move on our part. Only you two can decide if it is right for yourselves, but I can personally say it worked for us.

Post # 14
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

These days, anything goes with weddings.  I’m kind of struggling with the options of the courthouse wedding vs. the traditional wedding now myself, and the answer is that you should do whatever works best for you.  Getting married on paper seems a little underwhelming, so honestly, I think if you do it now for the legal benefits you probably won’t really feel that married until you have the ceremony with friends and family if that is what marriage means to you.  I personally could do without the whole big wedding thing, but even so, just the courthouse signing of documents doesn’t seem like a real, tangible marriage.  I think if you need to get married now for practical purposes, it would still feel very special if you have a formal ceremony later.  That way you could have a less traditional ceremony that involves your children or other family members more than a classic wedding normally would.

Post # 15
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We almost did that so that we would be able to get married before Darling Husband left for the Navy, but we were able to pull off a nice wedding in 5 months.

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