(Closed) Marrying an older man/meeting later in life.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

im one of these brides, hubby is over a decade older than myself and we work perfectly together. I do wish that i could have enjoyed those younger years with him, but it wasnt supposed to be. I still enjoy hearing his stories about his twenties. I do have people ask me if he cramps my style and stops me from doing things.. WTH he is my style. we complement each others personality, and honestly we are making our own memories, doing things together. You dont have to act your age. just cause hes older than me doesnt mean hes old.  

I also get those comments from others, “what are you going to do when your 60 and hes in his 70s??”. honestly why do you care? i dont really think too much to the way away future, like when im seventy.. honestly what are you going to be doing when you are seventy?? Who can answer that?? theres plenty of people who are younger than him in age but are older than him in the way they live, or rather dont live, their lives.. Yeah it can be a sore spot but only because of peoples opinions on it.. i really dont care that hes older. hes the absolutle love of my life, he makes my days and life happy. hes the only one i want to be with. its love, shouldnt that be enough?? because its definetly enough for me  🙂 

 

 

Post # 18
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My friend is 24 and dating a 38 year old. I always jokingly make fun of her for their age difference but I know she is happy with him so I support her. He is like your SO, very “young” for his age and you wouldn’t know it unless you were told.

Post # 19
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@mrsrangrang:  “what are you going to do when your 60 and hes in his 70s??” 

Seriously! I don’t mean that to throw shade at anyone in this thread but at 60 and 74, I’m sure my FH and I will still be cracking each other up. I better be a hot 60 yr old man, lol.

Post # 20
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

My Fiance is 9 years older than me. We met when I was 28 he was 37. I don’t even think about our age difference except when I tell people I have a 14 year old step daughter (CRAZY). I already had 3 children from previous and all the BOYS I dated my own age just weren’t ready to settle down or something. Sure I was hoping for 1 more kid with my husband but Fiance doesn’t want anymore and our youngest are 7, so its nice to not be tied home all the time.

I think if both of you want the same thing (mostly meaning children because us women only have x number offertile years) than age is just a number. But if you want kids and he doesn’t than I would seriously think about if that’s a make or break important factor.

Post # 22
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If I had met my older husband when we were both younger, it wouldn’t have worked out because we were very different at the point in our lives. Neither of us ever thought we would get married, so my husband never married until he was 36.

 

Post # 23
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@TakeTwo:  Exactly this – me and Fiance are 9 years apart and we DID meet earlier on but it did not happen for us until almost 7 years later because it wasn’t the right time.  I like that he’s older – he is the smartest person I know and I respect him, and vice versa.  He jokes about me being his trophy wife, but I definitely feel like I am going to have a hot trophy husband as well. 

Post # 24
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@mrs_pudding_pop:  

I am totally my husband’s trophy wife. His family was shocked that he married a “beautiful younger woman”, who is also black. My husband is introverted and nobody ever thought he would marry in the first place, so his family was shocked when he snagged a younger woman.

 

 

Post # 25
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@TakeTwo:  Good on him and good on both of you for marrying the love of your lives. 🙂

Fiance tells me I am movie star hot…LOL  I tell him he’s too kind… 😉

Post # 26
Member
854 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Its a difficult question to answer because everyone and all relationships are different.  My ex is 21 years my senior.  I was 27 when we met.  He was never married and didn’t/doesn’t have children.  Our relationship was exactly what I needed at that time of my life and vice versa.  To this day we are still very close friends and he considers me family and I him.

My Fiance is 18 years older.  He’s been married before as have I, but he is thoughtfully childless like me.  It is difficult to meet older men without children so I was lucky in that regard.

For me 34 is way different than 27.  I still had a lot of work to do on myself when I was under the age of 30.  Though I’ve had a lot of life experience, time really does make a difference for me when it comes to relationships and development.

We work perfectly together. The age difference doesn’t really come up in most conversations. We have the similar tastes in movies, music, art, etc.    We can spend hours at a library or having conversations about history, art, education, etc. 

He is very fit and in shape as I.  We both support each other in our work out, lifting, diet, fitness goals.  If I was going to be with someone older, he HAS to be in shape or at least make an effort.  I cannot be with someone eating fast food while I prepare a healthy meal.   I know unforeseen occurrences happen (I have a chronic illness) but I need someone to make an effort.  It also helps he looks about 10 years younger. 

Post # 27
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@CARA1978:  

It’s nice to have a rapport with your older husband isn’t it? I think that a wife needs to have more mature tastes if she is going to marry an older man. My husband and I love some of the same music, tv shows and activities. While my husband looks his age of 39, he is very healthy. I get lost in his piercing blue eyes and deep rumbling voice.

We both feel the same way about not having children. We nurture our cat and our three nieces. We are a very cool aunt and uncle.

Post # 28
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I feel out of the loop now. I’m the older one, (35 vs his 29) but we work well together. I’ve always hung out with people slightly younger than myself anyway. Most of my closest friends are at least a 5-10 years younger than me. Our age gap isn’t as big as some of the others, but I do wish I’d met him earlier sometimes, but I think we all sort of do that. It’s just like looking at ‘what if’s ‘ 

Post # 29
Member
854 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@TakeTwo:  LOL! Sounds like we have the same guy (except mine is older), LOL.  My friends have always been older than I so a relationship with an older guy was never a stretch for me.  

Post # 30
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@CARA1978:  

I had a passionate romance with a man 21 years older than me when I was 19. That was what started my older man preference.

 

Post # 31
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are fairly close in age, but didn’t date until our mid-30’s. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we’d dated sooner (we actually did meet before, but nothing came of it) and saved ourselves the trouble, but I don’t think we’d have been ready for each other sooner than this.

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